As you all might know, my peeps and I are having grueling happy hours of studying a play from William Shakespeare. Words like joy, delight, ecstatic, in high spirits or on cloud nine are used to describe how pleasant we are while studying this work of art.
"Woi, I can smell the sense of sarcasm lah!"
"Oh, you got me. Spot on!"
Hell yes, technically I am lazier than any of you could ever imagine. If you are close enough to me you can see the letter L on my forehead. Since I am as lazy as Koala, the laziest animal on earth who sleeps up to 22 hours, I decided to watch the movie instead of reading the whole text regarding this play. Last time this so-called-short-cut-approach proved to be fruitful. I spend an hour watching a play entitle Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller at YouTube a day before the final paper and guess what? Flying colours bai!
So here I am spending my 'happy' time watching Hamlet directed by 'Hamlet' himself, Kenneth Branagh. This boring-gila awesome film was nominated for four Oscars. Honestly from me, as far as I remember, I unconsciously ter-sleep while watching this movie. I slept and woke up several times and 'eh..scene mana dah ni?'. It's normal for a sleepyhead like me. I started to imagine what if I watch this film on cinema with my _______ (fill in the blank with a suitable/logic/acceptable answer) .
-You need lots and lots of popcorn, bottles of water or few sacks of junkfood (kuaci, kerepek, kuih muih etc)
-Bring a pillow with you. Larger is better, depend on your body size. A blanket would be a perfect addition.
-Feel free to sleep, don't afraid to sleep or do not hold your eyelids if you feel sleepy. Why? Even if you fall asleep the movie is still playing.
-Do not turn off your handphone, you might feel isolated in the cinema. Make sure you have enough credit to call or text your friends if you feel bored. Nah, handphone is lame, bring a laptop then. Bring also your broadband so that you can online and update your status; "Demit, this movie is so fuken boring".
Why did I mentioned all these stupid things? Alhamdulillah and thank God, I live long enough to watch few awesome movies that humankind has ever produced. But this Hamlet The Movie (1996) is absurd. It took four fuken hours. Watching this movie is hour incrimnets, longer than my favourite LOTR. In fact, you can watch two live soccer games consecutively.
"If so, why in the hell did you watch this movie, KeCiK oi?"
Told ya before, I am as lazy as a Koala, the only differences between that fella and me are Koala can sleep more than 20 hours while I can sleep in two consecutive days. Apart from that, Koala is cuter than me and people always say that I am as fugly as Heath Ledger. I'm not a hardcore on reading thick books. I wear spectacle but it doesn't mean I am a book-worm-type. If you ask me to read hundreds of Doraemon, Shin Chan, Slam Dunk or Dr Slump, I am honoured to do it without any hesitancy.
If it wasn't Ophelia, dah lama gua tawakal untuk paper besok. Sad to see the only hottest figure in this movie went crazy because of her father was killed by Hamlet. Apart from that, I fuken love the diction, the way they utter the words that I don't even understand. I give up on finding the meaning because I don't understand 90% of all the dialogues. Lenguh bai asyik nak selak kamus.
By 12PM I need to release myself from this prison of madness. Liverpool will face Tottenham at White Hart Lane. Bale is on song and I hope Glen Johnson can deal with it. Hopefully PakCik Roy knows what to do. This match is so important; do or die, we need this important 3 points. I will get crazy like Ophelia if we lost this match.
The left one with a pink-ultrawoman-head is Kuya. Twice drowned at Lata Kinjang and Kalumpang then she realized that the port is shallow enough for a 8 year old kid. Tu la, lu ingat lu Michelle Yeoh ke. The only makcik in class who uses bicycle when she thinks she is late. She's the one who printed my copy of Hamlet. I can't believe I spent RM5 for this copy. The other ultrawomen are just her minions, waiting for her next orders and commands. Second from left is Atul, Arashi's hardcore and she used to do agagaga laugh. Next to her is Iera, ex-Zapin dancer who now focuses on modern music. She represented group B for Olahraga on 100m sprint race, to make it OMG, she ran without a pair of shoe. The last makcik on the right is Dy. A fine-looking makcik yang ada iras-iras Sandra Bullock jika mukanya kekal pimple-free. A legend says that her younger sister is gorgeous than her.
My faith on Kuya for getting me that sissy-looking-book jeopardized my status as a skinhead when I was 15. I repeat, I did not order a book with a pink-flowered-cover. Dem you Kuya, dem you. Morale of the story, never trust a woman if you want them to make a copy of a book. They might jeopardize your life, just look at me.
Thanks to Prof Lim, the nearest man on earth with William Shakespeare I ever met. He knows most of everything regarding William Shakespeare. He gets us to know closer about a man who wrote Hamlet. Get well soon Prof. Sorry for being such a dud, a culprit and always daydreaming in your class :) You just prove that William Shakespeare is the greatest among William Hung, William Chan and William Gallas.
I missed to watch Damo Suzuki at Annexe.
I missed to watch Flossy on Rockapedia at Annexe.
I missed to play rounders with my new mates at Dataran Merdeka.
I missed to watch Zombi at KLPAC
and I missed to join BBQ party for ChowKit Kita crew members.
Why? My uni thinks having a very late exam is cool compare to other universities.
Dem.
Till then, I still need to spend another two hours to finish on watching this movie. Please God give me strength to endure hours with Hamlet.
p/s: By 12 PM tomorrow I shall bid a good-bye to William Shakespeare. Adieu Hamlet, adieu.
