MY FEARLESS IDIOTS. MY FANTASMAGORICAL SIDEKICKS. MY ATROCIOUS PUAKA'S.

SeratusWriters

Hiatus hiatus hiatus!

Last entry I posted was few weeks ago and since then I haven't posted any entry after that due to my laziness. Technically I'm enjoying my hiatus. Yeah, gua memang lousy. Gua malas. Gua idea-less but rest assure you idiots, I'll come out with something more idiotic than you could ever imagine. Cheers. Now let me sleep. A week of holiday yo!

p/s: Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired - Jules Renard

The Awesomeness of Jumaatday

الجمعة --- Friday --- Jumaat.

Why Jumaatday is so fuken awesome?

When I was a school kid, I just love Jumaatday. Kalau sekolah pagi, boleh balik awal, as early as 12.00PM. Kalau petang boleh masuk lambat, as late as 2.00PM. Hari biasa gua balik naik bas awam, sekali naik 50sen. Ada rezeki dapat tempat duduk sebelah awek. Takde rezeki kadang-kadang berdiri kat tangga bas sambil kepala terjulur keluar juga gua relakan. Dah macam konduktor bas pon ada gua rasa. Tapi Jumaatday memang wicked. Abah gua tak larat dengar alasan gua penat berdiri dalam bas semata-mata untuk ponteng solat Jumaat. So abah ambik inisiatif ambik gua selepas sekolah setiap Jumaatday. Osem.

Jumaatday waktu persekolahannya singkat dan pendek. Bila waktu persekolahan pendek, secara matematiknya waktu belajar kurang. Bila waktu belajar kurang, mata pelajaran untuk hari tu juga kurang. Bila mata pelajaran kurang, buku yang perlu di bawa juga kurang. Bila buku kurang maka ringan lah beg gua pada hari tu. Yeah, I am a genius.

Bila Jumaatday menjelma, menu kantin sekolah tak macam biasa. Nasi ayam FTW. Masa sekolah rendah gua dapat RMT, so setiap Jumaatday mesti dapat air susu kotak perasa cekelat. Berbeza sekali dengan menu tipikal nasi lemak, nasi goreng dan air sirap.

Jumaatday kena pakai baju melayu. Indirectly, all students must wear uniform yang sama termasuk pengawas. Apa yang lain? Kasut hitam. Gua dulu pustakawan. Uniform pustakawan gua kaler hijau macam Green Hornet dan berkasut hitam. So uniform gua macam pengawas. Setiap Jumaatday, gua dapat masuk kelas lambat lepas rehat. Boleh relek-relek, tenang-tenang walaupun loceng tamat rehat telah berkumandang.

Jumaatday adalah hari spesel. Penghulu segala hari dalam Islam. Sebagai lelaki muslim, ianya wajib ditunaikan secara berjemaah. Masa sekolah rendah inilah moment yang paling gua tunggu. Imam berkhutbah di depan, gua dan rakan-rakan seperjuangan bersilat di belakang. Penat bersilat digantikan pula dengan sesi pepsi cola.
Gua mula serius solat Jumaat bila sekolah menengah. By then, gua dah agak serius dalam bab-bab ni sebab dah baligh. Tapi nama pon remaja, sifat mesti-mahu-main masih ada walaupun sedikit. Gua suka cari port yang boleh sandar, kat tembok mahupun tiang masjid. Itu masa gua muda remaja, sekarang gua dah insaf.

Perhimpunan pada Jumaatday lagi awesome dibandingkan dengan perhimpunan hari Isnin ataupun Rabu. Isnin paling tak best sebab itu hari rasmi. Official day. Semua kena pakai kemas. Tanda nama, tali lahir, lencana bagai kena ada. Kalau tak ada lu mesti kena tahan masa spot check. Kena nyanyi lagu sekolah. Kena nyanyi lagu negeri. Kena nyanyi lagu Negaraku. Kena baca ikrar. Semua kena buat dengan BERDIRI. Hari Rabu not bad sebab hari tu kira English Day. Time ni gua blur sebab sepatah haram gua tak faham. Perhimpunan Jumaatday adalah faveret gua. No nonsense. Bla bla bla and another bla terus setel. Masuk kelas. Heaven.

Masa gua jadi muallim dulu gua juga suka Jumaatday. Seawal jam 7-9 pagi muallim-muallim yang otai akan lead untuk bacaan Al-Mathurat. Then bila habis, muallim dan muallimah akan ada group pelajar dia sendiri untuk sesi usrah. Gua juga ada group sendiri. Beberapa minit pertama memang gua cuba bagi usrah yang terbaik, ikut syllabus. Biasa bab-bab fekah, sirah atau akhlak akan jadi topik utama usrah. Untuk seawal 10 minit memang masih lagi dalam topik, tapi gua secara tak sengaja akan ter-bincang topik lain. Gua suka tanya budak soalan bukan-bukan.
 

"Pagi tadi sapa tak semayang subuh!?"
"Sapa sini tak mandi pagi?"
"Dalam banyak-banyak team EPL, team mana paling terer?"
"Siapa tengok cerita ***** malam tadi?"
"Agak-agak Naruto dengan Ben10 sapa lagi kuat?"

Dan kami terus bersembang sehingga mudir bagi hand-signal kat muallim dan muallimah untuk stop dan masuk kelas. Sedar-sedar dah nak waktu rehat. Heaven gua rasa, tak payah susah-susah buat lesson plan. Gua kadang-kadang rasa bersalah tapi at least sesi usrah gua mengeratkan hubungan silaturahim. Bila lagi nak sembang dengan anak-anak kecil secara santai dan non-konvensional. Gua memang rapat dengan budak-budak sebab gua juga seorang dewasa yang kebudak-budakan. Mana ada dewasa yang sanggup turun padang main bola dalam hujan dengan budak-budak seusia 9-10 tahun. Mana ada orang dewasa yang sanggup berkongsi cheat dengan budak-budak untuk game Warcraft. Mana ada dewasa yang ber-jam tangan jenama Casio bertali-kan gambar kartun Ben10.

Masih lagi dalam skop semayang Jumaat. Bila dah dewasa gua mula sedar ke arah yang lebih positip. Gua bukan lagi manusia pathetic yang suka datang lambat tatkala azan untuk solat Jumaat berkumandang. Ada rezeki gua dapat jumpa member-member lama yang se-per-sekolah-an. Ada yang dah kerja, dah kahwin, dah ke luar negara sambung belajar dan ada juga yang dah berubah. Dulu mat skinhead sekarang dah berserban. Seronok dan nikmat rasanya berjumpa, bersalaman dan bertepuk tampar dengan kenalan lama.

Last but not least, lepas solat Jumaat mesti ada pisang. Menu yang paling kool gila ialah dadih FREE. Gua segan nak belasah itu semua sebelum semayang so awal-awal gua dah kowtim dengan ex-student gua.

"Nanti yang ni simpankan muallim satu, perasa milo ye"
"Ok muallim, nanti petang main bola tau!"

Friday, I'm in love.

p/s: Hari ni hari Jumaat. Siang tadi lu olls dah potong kuku ke belum?

*Some of the dialogues are used to stimulate fun. Don't take it too serious. Chill.

:)

Wishlist 2011

A-hah, it's already 11th January. I think the date suits enough for me on exposing my wishlist for 2011. Gua rasa tarikh ni tak se-mistik nombornya, 11.1.11. Se-pengalaman hidup selama hampir 25 tahun gua tak pernah dapat nombor satu dalam apa jua bidang dari pelbagai aspek. Dari segi akademik, sukan mahupun pertandingan mewarna, gua tak pernah dapat nombor champion ni. Gua tak kisah sangat sebab gua bukan perfectionist. Sebab tu dalam pertandingan jogathon sekolah gua dapat nombor tiga gua tak kisah. Sebab tu gua dapat nombor dua puluh tujuh masa gua darjah enam gua tak kisah. Sebab tu team gua, Liverpool sekarang di tangga ke-12 dalam liga gua masih chill dan tenang. Kahkahkah.

Some of you idiots might be thinking of having Pamela Anderson as their kakak angkat
Some of you idiots might be thinking of having a bloody-cool girlpren or boypren.
Some of you idiots might be thinking of having a DSLR camera.
Some of you idiots might be wishing for getting fuken-rich or extremely wealthy.
Some of you idiots might be wishing for losing weight.
Some of you idiots might be wishing for a peaceful world.

Ok idiots, this is my wishlist for this year.


Pak Cik Roy has just been sacked and replaced by our ex-gaffer, Kenny Dalglish. As for this season, gua sedaya upaya memekakkan telinga dan menguatkan tahap ketabahan gua kerana team gua sekarang sudah menjadi bahan kutukan dan juga laughing stock. Gua masih lagi optimis yang Liverpool akan kembali mengganas just like those days. The reality is we are merely pickup three points at Anfield. Anfield is supposed to be a tough fortress.

Gua tak nak banyak songeh. Gua tak harap Messi mahupun Marco Van Basten join Liverpool. Gua tak harap sangat Liverpool gua menang semua trophy mahupun World Cup. Gua tak harap sangat Liverpool gua menang semua 38 matches. The only thing that I want is Liverpool in ITS LIVERPOOL's form. Playing with passion. Playing with spirit. Playing as Redsmen. YNWA.   


You idiots might find this is the weirdest wishlist by including a Clone Trooper helmet in my wishlist. Oh, I forgot to mention that this is my wishlist, not your father's wishlist.

Why Clone Trooper? Why not Ultraman?

I've been wandering all over places, the only 'cool' helmet for now that I found is Clone Trooper. Believe me, if I found an Ultraman's helmet for sure I'll bought it. Just name the price. Tapi agak-agak lah, if it's cost me nearly one million gua rasa lagi elok gua beli rumah ataupun hantar parent gua pergi menunaikan haji untuk beberapa kali. Gua nekad, masuk je duit scholarship SLTP gua akan rembat satu dan letak atas kabinet gua. Wakakaka! Ah, satu lagi, helmet Iron Man FTW!


WTF who is Furniture ? The first and only time I saw them performing LiVE was few years ago during Rock The World 5. Personally I think that edition is the best ever Rock The World I attended. Ok, back to the question, who is Furniture?

They are an independent rock band from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Being independent means they do not have a team of label people who write nice biographies for them.They've written and read enough band bios to realise there are way too many big adjectives and marketing bullshit that goes into writing a bio.

Let's try one without blowing their own metaphorical trumpet (real trumpets are fine).


Their sophomore album is They Made Me Out Of Dreams You've Forgotten. In it are songs written over a span of 5 years. Songs about hope, hopelessness, being stuck, coming unstuck, and the end of the world. Theyre surprised as anyone that it ever got finished, and they're glad it's finally here to share.

If you like their music, the best thing you could do for them, almost even better than giving them money, is to tell all your friends about them. Last album I bought is Great Battle by Seven Collar T-Shirt. Penat gua merayau satu Seremban, not even a single music shop sells this album. Gua teringat pesan buddy gua, "Woi, lu try usha 7E" and I managed to get it at that 24/7 shop. It is an awesome album. Gua rasa belum ada lagi local act yang buat English album as superb as them. Butterfingers is also one of them. Local act FTW yo!

These days I find it difficult to find a good movie just like old days. Gua macam biasa, kekal optimis sambil mengharap masih ada lagi movie yang mampu buat gua terkesima for couple of hours. In 2011, I do wish that these three movies could 'wake' me up from my sleep. Gua harap tak ada lagi movie-movie yang gua sangka super duper bertukar menjadi sampah seperti filem The Last Airbender dan Clash of Titans. Sumpah sampah dua cerita ni!

Gua harap these movies will not making me saying "Celaka punya movie! Bosan sial!"


The Hobbit, I am a huge fan of Tolkien's masterpiece. In fact, gua rasa LOTR is still the best movie ever. Next, The Avengers. The Avengers are a team of superheroes. Labeled "Earth's Mightiest Heroes", the Avengers originally consisted of Ant-Man, Wasp, Thor, Iron Man, and The Hulk. The original Captain America was discovered by the team, trapped in suspended animation, and joined the group when they revived him. The team is famous for its battle cry "Avengers Assemble!" The team has featured humans, mutants, robots, gods, aliens, supernatural beings, and even former villains. Last but not least, Battle of Los Angeles, also known as World Invasion: Battle LA outside the U.S. is an upcoming 2011 science fiction film directed by Jonathan Liebesman, and starring Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Pena, Ne-Yo, and Bridget Moynahan. The film premise is inspired by the 1942 Battle of Los Angeles incident (sometimes called the "Great Los Angeles Air Raid of 1942") in which a presumed enemy attack, later deemed a "false alarm," led to an hour-long anti-aircraft artillery bombardment over the city of Los Angeles. The film is set in modern day Los Angeles and follows a platoon of Marines and Airmen during a global alien invasion.


I already bought Slam Dunk Season I last year and I completely finish watching it for several times. Itu belum lagi gua mention pasal Manga dia. Beratus kali gua khatam manga Slam Dunk. So gua rasa dunia Slam Dunk gua akan complete bila gua dapat rembat DVD Slam Dunk Season II.
 
p/s: Wishlist atas ni hanya nafsu serakah gua. I just wish that I'll have a happy life.

Pak Cik Roy has been sacked!

Ah, mana plak gua nak pergi lepas ni?

Hodgson leaves the Merseyside club after winning just 13 of 31 matches in charge. I'll never forget the game when we won against Chelsea at Anfield. Thanks for your effort in the last past six months.

Now, who in charge ??

Keh keh keh. Gua lah in charge sekarang!

The return of King Kenny. YNWA Pak Cik Roy. YNWA King Kenny. Walk on bebeh!

p/s: Gua tak kira, nak YNWA lagi sekali.

Liverpool the Laughing Stock

Why?

We barely got 3 points at Anfield.

We pick up a measly five points away from Anfield.

...and this morning we lost against Blackburn. This result and the embarrassing sound of Rovers fans singing "Can we play you every week'' and "Are you Burnley in disguise'' are killing me.

Dem.

 "Pak Cik rasa dah sampai masa Pak Cik jaga anak cucu Pak Cik kat rumah"

 "Aiseh, jam habis bateri plak..."

 "Apa gua nak sembang dengan John lepas ni?"

 ...

The fallen heroes

p/s: Chelsea is becoming like Liverpool? Kahkah...gua ada geng!

Cuti Cuti - What have you done, KeCiK ?

Ah, January finally. As you all might know, the whole December was my semester break. After this, I'll start on my 5th semester on January. Gua akan kembali menjalani hidup gua yang penuh dengan protokol. Gua kembali berpakaian kemas. Bertali leher, berkasut, baju masuk dalam dan rambut tersisir rapi. Dem :(

"So cuti-cuti ni apa lu buat?"
"Banyak bai. Macam-macam gua buat"

Besides bangun-makan-tido, main futsal, cat rumah, ketuk tin, pergi surau and others daily routine, these are the things that I endured while having cuti-cuti in December;


I left them few years ago with some knowledge and here they are, standing proud and confident. Physically and mentally improved more than I could ever imagine. Yang comel dah jadi cun. Yang kememeh, mudah berlinangan air mata dan berhati kaca kini menjadi anak-anak yang kental, gengster dan gagah. Ada yang dah sama tinggi dengan gua juga ada. Setiap tahun bila ada cuti gua selalu lawat sekolah tempat gua pernah mengajar. The school taught me to be an 'educator', not just a mere teacher. Alhamdulillah, ramai yang cemerlang dari segi akademik. Sahsiahnya juga gua rasa ada improvement.

I am extremely happy to see you kids with the great results. Yang tak dapat result power macam diorang; chill and relek. You still got time. The journey is still far. Lu olls might not get good results in exam but never be a loser. Belajar jadi orang eventhough your academic is not as good as others. Gua dulu pon result takde sepower lu olls tapi sekarang macam ok je. Haha. Dah besar kang dah jadi doktor, peguam, menteri or whatever; jangan lupa kat Sir/Lao Shi/Mualim k! Ada rezeki kita bertepuk tampar lagi.I may not be there for you but I'm watching you. Pergh, dah macam lagu Silverchair pulak.


Honestly, I'm not a big fan of cars. You know why? I DON'T HAVE A CAR. The only CAR that I had was 10 years ago when I bought Cannonball. Since it was made from a brand TAMIYA, surely it is expensive. It cost me nearly RM30. 1/4 duit raya gua habis kat benda alah ni.

 

I'm not gonna bla bla bla about this motorshow since I don't have the right knowledge about car. I know nothing about cars. Antara benda-benda yang gua tahu pasal kereta hanyalah check angin tayar, air, minyak hitam, bukak hud depan dan bukak bonet belakang. That's all. Itu pon berkat pengalaman gua bekerja di stesen pam minyak jenama kerang selama beberapa bulan setelah tamat SPM. Orang lain habis SPM terus further study, gua? Yeah, I spent a whole year working before I continue my study. Sah-sah gua bangang masa sekolah dulu.

I just thought that this event was exploiting and manipulating the awesomeness of women appearance. Sexy looking, tight outfit and horny looking. What was that? Are they selling cars or selling women? Effective way of marketing. Ceh.


The event should be held at MK Club, Malacca but it was cancelled last minute due to technical problem. At first, gua agak frust sebab gua dah plan baek punya for the sake of attending this gig. Gua kembali ceria bila MySkaFest Community berjaya menukar venue tanpa mengubah tarikh gig. Gua makin excited bila venue yang dipilih adalah Tampin.


Berbekalkan motor legend gua, EX5 berwarna hitam, gua merempit bersama buddy gua, Mamat yang juga seorang gig-goer. Last time we went to KL Ska Fest together. Mathematically this gig is the last gig for this year. Lu olls jangan ingat Tampin tu dekat even dalam satu negeri. The journey from Senawang to Tampin took almost an hour. Alhamdulillah, we arrived there safely. Even though the gig was held in a studio, it was fun tho. Skankin' dalam oven. Panas tapi puas. Nanti gua hapdate secara detail regarding this gig.


On 11th December, I went to Malacca, attending a wedding ceremony. Sape kawen? Yeah, tak lain dan tak bukan, gua punya UPSI course-mate, Munie! She's younger than me but she married earlier than me. Cis.

"Woi, gi kenduri kawen pon nak kecoh ke?"
"Suka hati gua lah @#$% !!!"

It may sounds weird and funny tapi gua tak rasa funny pon. I arrived at Munie's house around 6.00 PM. Mengikut kata-kata mak gua, belum ada lagi keturunan mak yang datang kenduri kawen orang pukul enam petang. Gua nak story panjang pon tak guna tapi gua cuba ringkaskan. My roomate, Azhar is from Kulim. He picked my buddy, Ary at Bagan Serai. Then they fetched two nyonyas, Cheng Cheng and Wen Yi at Kampar. Finally they fetched me at Senawang. As a result, we ended up arrived bloody-late for this occasion. Gua dapat tahu buddy gua, Azhar sampai ke Kulim dengan selamat pada pukul 4 pagi.

Sorry Mun for being late on your wedding's day. Tak merasa gua nak tengok lu pakai baju korea. Haha. BTW, thanks for the meal. Lauk pengantin tu. Haha lagi.


Dah lama rasanya gua tak pergi stadium. The last time I watch LIVE football match was few months ago at Stadium Tunku Abdul Rahman. The match was between Negeri Sembilan and Johor FC on semi final first leg of Malaysian Cup. We lost that match 1-0 due to Sani's mistake. But we won the second leg at Johor so we went to final and lost to Kelantan. D'oh.


This time I went to Bukit Jalil for a bigger match. Sebagai rakyat Malaysia yang cintakan bolasepak tempatan, gua hadir bersama abang dan adik gua bersama fotographer kami, Apiz yang juga kawan sekolah gua. The game was between Malaysia and Vietnam, the semi final first leg of AFF Suzuki Cup. We won that game thanks to a brace from Safee Sali. 2-0 peeps. Bekalan selesa ke Vietnam. Apart from that, it was my first time watching football with a group of extreme supporters. They are Ultras Malaya. Bloody extreme, chanting and singing. Singing and chanting for almost 90 minutes. Gila. Respek gua dan secara separa sedar, gua tengok bola sambil berdiri. Gua begitu asyik melihat members of Ultras Malaya  sampai terlupa nak duduk. Gua dah rasa macam kat Argentina bila diorang start bakar flare. Peh.

26th December 2010 was a hectic day. Timkai? Let me sum it up, first leg of final AFF Suzuki Cup, the 10th Rock The World, Rantai Art Festival and another kenduri kahwin from my relative at Perak. So, where did I end up?

Rantai Art Festival

Timkai?

Kenapa lu tak tengok final first leg?
The match started exactly at 8.00 PM. So lepas Rantai Fest gua still boleh catch up tengok match tu.

Kenapa lu tak pergi Rock The World?
As you all might know, I attended four editions of RTW. The 5th, the 6th, the 7th and the 8th. All of them were held at Stadium Merdeka. Gua rasa RTW dah hilang vibe dia. So gua tak kisah sangat terlepas edisi kali ini. Satu je yang gua kisah, tak dapat tengok Seven Collar T-Shirt in LIVE !!!

Kenapa lu tak pergi kenduri kawen sedara lu?
Famili gua dah ada wakil. Abah, mak dan adik perempuan gua ada datang. Lagi pun gua dah dapat restu dari mak gua untuk pergi Rantai Fest.


Apart from jalan-jalan, I love watching television with my Mak. Sambil melipat kain di ruang tamu, Mak gua akan layan apa sahaja televisyen dapat sumbangkan. I do recall the time when I spent hours with my mak watching tennis matches, live football matches and few drama melayu. Last time we spent hours watching Sivaji The Bos. Haha.

Okeh, besides spending time watching television with my mak, gua juga ada masa dengan abah gua. Antara aktiviti yang kami buat adalah sesi pecah tanah kat belakang rumah. Gua yang masih muda, longlai kerana mengorek, mencangkul, menarik hatta apa jua sekalipun. Apart from that, I also assisted abah gua on wiring our own house. Gila babi susah. Kalau gua ambik course letrik gua ingat baru first year gua dah kena tendang. We ended up as late as 4.00 in the morning.


p/s: Gua rasa sem ni agak heaven bagi gua since I don't have any classes on Isninday! Yey!

Related Posts with Thumbnails