Hammered by The Hammers: West Ham 3 Liverpool 1

Today is Monday. When it comes to Monday, most people will talk about;

"Ah, malasnya gua nak pergi kerja"
"Kena datang sekolah awal, ada perhimpunan rasmi"

But I'm different. According to my timetable, I am totally free from any academic participation on that day. I am free to sleep all day long on Monday. Just like today, I woke up exactly at 4PM. Kelam kabut gua mandi dengan harapan Asar belum masuk waktu lagi.

I am done with my rant, back to the topic. Tak perlu gua rasa nak highlight pasal last game involving my Liverpool. Yeah, we were out muscled by the Hammers at Upton Park. We were hammered by The Hammers easily with their sublime performance, well organized in defending and flawless while attacking. Credit for their trio, Parker, Noble and Hitzlsperger (Berbelit lidah gua nak pronounce nama mamat ni). So did Robert Green, I couldn't believe he was that good.

What telah happen with my Liverpool? We start with our usual formation by King Kenny, 5-3-2. Reina in front of the post, Kelly and Johnson as our fullback, Skrtel-Carra-Wilson play the role as centre back. Lucas, Meireles and Gerrard anchoring the midfield and pair Suarez and Kuyt playing upfront. Personally I guess this line up is quite strong since Gerrard is back and Suarez played really well in his last match.

Their first goal was super. The West Ham skipper plays a one-two with Hitzelsperger and toe-pokes a classy finish past Reina from the edge of the box. Gila ah main cedok je dah boleh score. Their second goal was another beauty. O'Neil chips the ball to the Ba who beats Reina at the near post with a lovely diving header. It was more of a falling header really. Sungguh unorthodox, but very effective. He scored 3 goals in his 3 appearances. Then my Liverpool pull one back, great skill from Suarez as he turns sharply inside the box and plays the ball across the six-yard box for Glen Johnson to finish at the far post. Cun gila punya turning. Gua rasa ada harapan nak steal at least a point. Tapi harapan gua hancur berderai when they scored their third goal. Carlton Cole has made sure of the win for West Ham with another quality goal. The substitute wrestles Skrtel off the ball, comes forward, bamboozles Carragher with a stepover before firing a low finish past Reina at the near post. Skrtel was so lembik because that Cole guy is definitely bigger than him. The final whistle goes and it's a great victory for the Hammers.

Parker and Hitzelsperger, the two culprits yang merosakkan malam gua.

Demba Ba bajet comel.

 Cole with a great finish. He beats Skrtel, acah-acah Carra with few stepover and gua terus carut sebab dia score.

Malam gua tidak kesedihan berseorangan. Ramai lagi yang sedih rupanya.

We lost the game, we got nothing from this match and we lost two key players, Kelly and Meireles. I guess Johnson will be playing again as a right back. The question is who will be playing on the left? Gua pernah jadi left back masa wakil rumah sukan sekolah rendah dulu tapi gua tak dapat tolong. Sabtu gua ada kelas dan gua for sure tak sempat ambik flight ke Anfield untuk training dengan player-player lain. Gua harap King Kenny dapat cari player lain. Sorry gaffer.

Gua agak demotivated. Esemen makin berlambak dan gua tak ada driving force untuk menyiapkan semuanya kerana sisa-sisa perjuangan gua tinggal ciput. I just finished with the summaries, the reflection and the skill analysis. More to come from reflection, literature and anguage test class. Table of specification, reflection portfolio and literature stuff. Gua mengambil inisiatif untuk tengok Wozniacki  kat youtube while warming up at semi final Qatar Ladies Open, wearing Liverpool jersey yo!

 Signed by Stevie G yo!

 Wozniacki, player LFC dalam sejarah yang dibeli tanpa perlu bermain untuk LFC itu sendiri.
 Abah gua juga seorang LFC dalam diam-diam.

p/s: The match I've been waiting for is this Ahad-day. The match against the Fergie babes.  

Conteng-Conteng Enam

A-ha! When was the last time I posted an entry regarding conteng-conteng? Sorry idiots, I was too busy with something unnecessary. In fact, I am still busy with those unnecessary thingy.

An idiot "Dude, what are those unnecessary things, mind sharing?"
KeCiK "Sorry mate, those things are something personal"
An idiot "Hek eleh, lu pehal? Since when you are being to secretive?"
KeCiK "Cilakak lu. Ok ok. Lemme share with you. Come here closely."

Closer and closer...

KeCiK "WTF ! That is too close lah woi ! Are you trying to molest me?"
An idiot "Molest your head lah! You don't have the sex appeal so why in the first place I want to molest you?"
KeCiK "#$%^%& !!!"
An idiot "&*%$#@+* !!!"

This stupid argument continues for almost an hour.

Pay no attention to that conversation. Like I told you in previous entries, I do have this tendency to talk to myself. It is one of the way to show you idiots how retarded I am. Now back to the topic, last time I posted an entry about my conteng-conteng world on a book. I barely read that book since it has too many words to be read, memorize and understand. You idiots can never imagine how lazy I am when it comes to academic things.

This time I am back with something o0o la la. I guess so. Haha. Enjoy this stupid work of art. I just cant stop conteng conteng. Pardon me for my stupid sense of behaviour. As always, there's a story in any of my conteng-conteng artwork.

The figure that I drew is my lecturer. His name is Mohammad Sidik Bin Ariffin. Mahatma Ghandi is known as an ideological leader in India during the Indian independence movement. Yusof Zaki Yaakob is known as a person who started conceptual Islamic literature roughly on 1965 in Malaysia. While Patrick Teoh is known as the 'Voice of Malaysia', bestowed by his fans and Malaysian mass media. Apart from that, he played the role as Polonius in Hamlet, another version of Hamlet which is translated into Bahasa Malaysia. But who is Mohammad Sidik?

He is one of the lecturer in UPSI's Faculty of Languages. His specialty is in English literature, post-colonial studies and comparative literature. He taught us Literary Criticism during my third semester. He showed us how hard it is to 'consume' a novel entitled Hard Times by Charles Dickens. He also introduced us to a short story entitled The Token Shop written by Ahmad Tohari. I found out that short story is very very very and another very 'interesting'. Har har har (controversial laugh).

Then, for the next semester he taught me on Selected Poems in English. I do remember one of his assignment was preparing a critical analysis on any poem from the anthology Characters Under Glass. Guess what poem did I pick for this task? The shortest poem in that book! Har har har (another controversial laugh). Characters Under Glass is written by Evanna Mohamad Ramly. At the time of publication, Evanna was in her final year as a TESL undergraduate in IPSAH and UPSI.

It doesn't stop there. Currently in my fifth semester, Mr Sidik is my lecturer for Malaysian Literature in English. We are given few task to be completed, one of them is discussing the concerns of the authors in either two short stories or a play used in this course. He introduces us with lots of short stories. Honestly I haven't read any of the short stories for the time being. Please don't get angry with me Sir, I can guarantee you that sooner or later I'll read one of those awesome stories. In this course we are going to use several short stories which is Malaysian literature in English. Apart from that, we also use a novel entitled In A Far Country written by well known K.S. Maniam and not ketinggalan, a play entitled We Could **** You, Mr Birch by Kee Thuan Chye. I can't believe I just spent my money on buying academic things. Unbelievable kan?

 Can you see how happy we are with Mr Sidik?

Ok then, I guess it is enough for now. More to come in conteng conteng. Now get lost. Scram before I smack your face into several pieces. I'm not in a good mood because I'm a bit demotivated. Why? Lots of assignments to be handed in. Dem.

p/s: How lazy I can be? I'm a bit lazier than a sloth. Fikir-fikirkan lah.
p/s last: Forgive me Sir for drawing your face on the note prepared by you. Pardon me for my academic sense of humor.

Pekan Frinjan 17 & Bijou Bazaar

Saturday, February 12 · 5:00pm - 11:30pm

Laman Menara Jam, Dataran Shah Alam

Pekan Frinjan edisi ke 17 menampilkan:




Pra-lancar buku 'Kuala Lumpur, Aku Okay'

Tanggal 12 Februari 2011 ini, pihak penerbitan "Kuala Lumpur, Aku Okay (KLAOK)" akan mengadakan jualan pra-pelancaran buku yang diilhamkan daripada filem KLAOK, di Pekan Frinjan 17 Shah Alam (5.00pm-11.00pm). Untuk sesi pra-pelancaran ini, dey all akan mencetak 50 Naskhah terhad KLAOK versi Print-On-Demand dengan harga minima RM20 (anda digalakkan menderma lebih, terima kasih). Naskhah terhad ini hanya akan dijual di Pekan Frinjan sahaja.

Tapi, jangan risau! Bagi mereka yang tak dapat hadir di majlis hip-cool-happening-gemilang-terbilang ini, kami harap, dalam 2 minggu berikutnya, Edisi Biasa KLAOK akan siap dicetak untuk dijual kepada umum. Anda boleh membelinya terus dari para penerbit KLAOK atau anda boleh membelinya secara maya.

Berikut adalah caranya untuk mereka yang ingin menempahnya secara maya:

1.Masukkan RM25 atau lebih, kalau mahu (RM5 adalah bayaran pos) ke akaun berikut:

Nama: Irman Bin Noor
No akaun : 162085468109 (Maybank)

2. Lampirkan bukti pembayaran melalui emel (dvinecomedy di hotmail dot com)
3. Nyatakan alamat
4. Sebaik saja siap, kami akan menghantarnya secepat mungkin (Penghantaran dibuat tiap hari Selasa)

By Sufian Abas

Terima kasih.
Razaisyam Rashid, Mohd Jayzuan, Fazleena Hishamuddin, Aidil Rusli, Sufian Abas


Orkes Rakyat Tertindas


 baca zine Mosh #14 oleh Nizang


Previu teater Merocok-Rocok oleh Paradoks


bazar oleh Bijou Bazaar - Kuala Lumpur based guerrilla fashion and craft bazaar

Tentang Pekan Frinjan

Pekan Frinjan adalah salah satu inisiatif kelompok Frinjan bertujuan untuk membudayakan masyarakat. Ini dilakukan dengan membawa pelbagai aktiviti seni dan kebudayaan terus kepada masyarakat umum, khususnya di laman massa dan jalanan. Dengan mempersembahkan seni dan budaya dalam bentuk “pop”, diharapkan masyarakat akan terus mahu mendekati bahan berteraskan intelektualisme. Ini penting dalam membentuk sebuah negara dan persekitaran bertamadun yang tidak hanya mementingkan pembangunan ekonomi semata-mata.

Frinjan ialah entiti sifar-untung yang dijayakan oleh kelompok bebas. Matlamatnya ialah untuk menganjurkan aktiviti jalanan bersifat semi-komersil dengan suntikan literari, pembudayaan masyarakat dan pengembangan sosial

Untuk maklumat lanjut, sila hubungi:

013-299 0192 : Farhan Azahan
010 512 6836 : Zulhabri
017 699 7684 : Naha

atau emel ke

Acara ini dianjurkan oleh kumpulan Frinjan dengan sokongan dari Tourism Selangor dan turut dibantu oleh MBSA

 Zulhabri Supian
Terima kasih

p/s: Penat merempit, sampai jugak gua ke rumah dengan kondisi yang super dan energetic. Agreed bro, I went to Frinjan twice, dua-dua hujan. Ah, for sure I'm gonna miss it. I wish I'll be there, sorry! Dem, the third consecutive miss. :(

What were you doing when your teacher was not in class?

Assalamualaikum. Salam seluruh Malaysia, Salam 1Malaysia, Salam seluruh kaum, Salam sejahtera and Salam SeratusPenulis, to all editors and readers of this belog.

Ok, enough with politicians-style mukadimah. Lets get straight to the point. Gua yakin semua orang pernah mengalami situasi dimana chegu yang patut masuk mengajar tak masuk kelas mungkin atas beberapa sebab;

-Chegu cuti bersalin.
-Chegu lambat masuk.
-Chegu sesat.
-Chegu lupa timetable.
-Chegu memang malas nak masuk kelas.

So apa korang buat bila chegu tak ada dalam kelas?

Biasa bila chegu tak masuk kelas mesti ada chegu ganti. Tapi ada beberapa kes dimana chegu tak masuk kelas. Bagi gua, itu lah masa gua penumbuk ke udara sambil berkata YES dalam hati.

Dalam situasi ini Ketua Darjah yang main peranan. Jika Ketua Darjah itu berkaliber, pasti beliau akan segera bergegas ke office untuk cari guru ganti. Tapi kalau Ketua Darjah tersebut mempunyai mentaliti macam olls paham-paham lah. Jika tak ada langsung chegu ganti maka Ketua Darjah akan mengambil inisiatif sendiri seperti mengawal kelas tersebut bersama Penolongnya. Macam biasa Ketua Pelajar dalam kelas akan berdiri di depan, mencari beberapa kesalahan dan menulis nama murid-murid tersebut bersama kesalahannya di papan hitam agar chegu yang masuk selepas itu akan memujinya sendiri kerana mengawal kelas dengan penuh kejujuran. Chegu tersebut mungkin menepuk-nepuk bahu Ketua Darjah tersebut sambil berkata "Well done sonny"

Kesalahan; Bergendang & Menyanyi. LOL. Ketua Darjah yang berkepimpinan autokratik.

Sesetengah murid mungkin membuka buku dan mengulangkaji pelajaran. Sesetengah pelajar mungkin berlakon meletakkan buku di atas meja dan berborak sakan. Sesetengah lagi mungkin tidur sahaja dalam kelas. Gua? Apa gua buat? The answer is bloody-simple. M.A.I.N.

So, dalam kelas yang sempit, penuh dengan kerusi dan meja dan ditutup oleh empat dinding konkrit; apa yang gua boleh main?

Lawan Pemadam

This is my favourite. The rule is bladi-simple, winner takes all. Si-pemenang dapat mengambil pemadam si-kalah. Masa gua sekolah rendah dulu gua ada gadis, nama dia ****. Muka dia memang macam orang German, rambut pendek berwarna perang dan bermata biru. Sampai sekarang gua ingat lagi muka dia. Gua memang rapat dengan dia sebab dia tag team gua dalam game lawan pemadam. Pantang ada masa terluang, gua berlatih lawan pemadam dengan dia sampai ada masa kami berlatih sehingga mencapai mata 200 untuk game point. Tiap kali ada unofficial tournament untuk lawan pemadam mesti kami masuk. Macam biasa, siapa menang dapat ambil pemadam yang kalah. Faveret gua pemadam yang ada gambar bendera dan faveret dia yang ada gambar huruf. Kami siap ada kotak pensel khas hasil kemenangan bersama.

Lawan Kad

Old Maid, Happy Family dan Donkey. Tapi dalam banyak-banyak card gua paling suka main Snap!. Sebab apa? Nak main Snap! kena ada ramai player. Lagi ramai lagi meriah. Bila ramai maka ada lelaki, ada perempuan. Part ni paling gua suka. Tiap kali nak Snap! bila ada card sama mesti tangan gua pergi dulu. So player-player lain yang lambat nak Snap! mesti tangan-tangan mereka atas gua. Secara tak langsung possibility untuk player-player perempuan untuk pegang tangan gua juga tinggi. Dan bila ia berlaku, gua naturally akan buat muka horny sikit. Kui kui kui...Astaghfirullah Al Azim.


Gua rasa game ni legend. Mak gua kata main ceper ni dah wujud sejak zaman mak gua di bangku persekolahan. Batu Seremban, Selambut atau Serembat mungkin game untuk golongan hawa so gua rasa ceper is specially designed for boys. Gua masih lagi di ambang misteri bagaimana tradisi bermain ceper dapat diturunkan secara turun temurun dengan jayanya. Pinpoint accuracy. Careful. Ultraprecise. Siapa ada skill-skill ni boleh jadi serious contender untuk main ceper. Player sejati tiap kali ada tournament mesti ada set ceper dia sendiri, custom made lagi tu. Cat sendiri pakai kaler water jenama yang ada gambar panda tu. Satu yang gua suka main game ceper dia still ada lagi bau kokakola. Pergh.

Lawan Titik Titik

Gua tak suggest game ni kat budak-budak sebab game ni menyalahgunakan buku latihan matematik. Tapi gua tak nafikan tahap keseronokan lawan titik umpama kanak-kanak 10 tahun yang asyik bermain PSP. Dulu gua ada dua buku khas selain untuk academic purpose. Satu buku untuk gua conteng-conteng dan satu lagi buku untuk main menatang ni lah. Player hanya dua orang sahaja. Menang kalah tak dapat apa-apa cuma maruah sebagai player agung titik titik saja dipertaruhkan. Gua rasa main chess pon tak susah macam ni. Selagi ada ruang untuk letak titik, selagi tu lah gua takkan mengalah. Kadang-kadang gua terpaksa main cheat. Bak kata peng-gusti terkenal, Eddie Guerrero; "Win To Cheat". Kalau pihak lawan leka atau terpandang tempat lain, gua dengan laju akan letak extra titik sebagai langkah untuk menang.

Banyak lagi game gua nak kongsi dengan lu olls. Gua belum lagi open game Bola Tekan, Mini-Ragbi, Empayar, Pepsi Cola, Main Nombor, Gunting-Batu-Kain (yang pakai dua belah tangan) dan macam-macam lagi. Ada masa gua akan kongsi dengan lu olls dengan lebih mendalam dan terperinci mengenai game-game nih. Till then. Adieu. Assalamualaikum.

Maaf sekiranya entri ini bukan entri ilmiah. Secara ilmiahnya gua lemah dan disadvantage.

p/s: Fuken hell, friendly pon tiket sampai rm20 ?

He was a Red, now he is a Blue.

Ah, it's been a while since the last time I rant about football especially Liverpool. Forget about our previous performances and straight to the transfers. Everyone seems to forget that Babel left Liverpool for Hoffenheim, Citizen bought Dzeko for 35m pound from Wolfsburg, Nagatomo and Pazzini to Inter Milan, Ryo Miyaichi to Arsenal, Darren Bent to Aston Villa, Adebayor to Real Madrid and Hairuddin Omar went back to Negeri Sembilan.

Why? Timkai? Why they all buat-buat forget?

"Torres sealed his record-breaking-move to Chelsea for a reported £50million from Liverpool"

Now that is what I called OMG. I just can't believe this lad requested a move to our modern rival. Personally I think it is fine for him to find another club to win trophies but why Chelsea? Never mind then. I'm against favoritism so I guess 'gua tak kisah pon lu keluar tapi cara lu keluar buat gua rasa pissed off'. What made me angered was his statement right after joining this so-called-konpem-dapat-trophy-sebarang-dua club.
Torres "It's the kind of team I like to play against. It's the kind of team I want to play for''

KeCiK "My ass lah"

Torres "This is the target for every footballer - to try to play for one of the top clubs in the world and I can do it now. I have to be very, very happy as I am"

KeCiK "Dude, you can never imagine how happy you will be"

Torres "Obviously Drogba is the best striker in the world by far. It's a big responsibility for me to play alongside them because the level they have is so high"

KeCiK "Excuse me mate, Drogba?"

Torres "I am so happy and so proud to be here, finally, after these tough days. At the of the day I can say I'm a Chelsea player and I'm very, very happy"

KeCiK "Happy happy bla bla bla...."

Torres "It has been two, three, four very, very hard days for me especially for everything I have leaving Liverpool but I can say I'm a Chelsea player. I'm really happy and I'm sure I'm doing one of the biggest steps forward in my career, joining a club like Chelsea"

KeCiK "Ok, I am sick of your so-called-happy"

Enuff with my rants and ravings. How about others?

I don't have any jersey with your name mate, lucky. If I have one surely I'll give it to my Chelsea buddy as a birthday present.

But hey! We got few new signings, they are Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez. We bought these lads for the sake of improving our performance. We bought Suarez for up to 26M from Ajaz and Carroll for 35M from Newcastle. Hey, not bad lah!

 Gua harap lepas ni Suarez main pakai kaki instead of his own hand, please believe on Reina mate.

 Iqbal, our first-team doctor "Err...badan lu keras lah. I like taw"
Suarez "Please don't molest me mate, I haven't played yet for the club. Gua suci macam Son Goku tau"

King Kenny with his new signing, Luis Suarez

 Iqbal "Ok kali ni gua nak ajar cara untuk release stress kat atas padang, even if you are playing for real"
Carroll "Oh, kat training centre Newcastle tak ada pon buat macam ni"

 Meh sini gua tilik nasib lu.

King Kenny welcomed his other signing, Andy Carroll.

 The premier league stats. Torres vs Carroll.

As a football fan, I do wish Torres a good luck for his career but as a Liverpool fan, you can kiss my ass. Carragher and Skrtel shall break you into pieces and let you rot on the bench. As for Carroll and Suarez, good luck mate. YNWA. You play for your club with your heart and you'll get every drop of support from us.

p/s: Anfiled jauh bona ghaso eh, takpo. Malam ni kito lepak kek Paroi nengok Nismilan lawan T-Team yo. Hobin Jang Hobin!

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