Conteng-Conteng Tujuh

It's already 6.00 PM and I guess I won't be playing football this evening due to some technical problem. Darn. Petang-petang yang nyaman macam ni gua rasa rugi gila kalau duduk rumah mengadap laptop Travelmate 2400 gua. I think it's going to rain tapi apa gua kesah? When I was a kid, padang dah macam sawah pon gua masih semangat nak main bola. As long as I have a ball and few buddies, gua akan teruskan niat gua untuk bermain bola.

Again, pay no attention to my introduction. I am a retarded weirdo who likes to bullshit 24/7. This entry has nothing to do about football. It's about my hobby regarding conteng-conteng again. This time I'm back with another work of art. As far as I remember, I drew this picture last year while I was having a lecture. Like I told you idiots before, I like to draw just to make sure I do not sleep in class. Still better than sleeping rite?

Who is this unlucky fella? She is my coursemate, her name is Tan Cheng Cheng. Why she was unlucky? She sat in front of me in that particular class. I decided to draw her figure since I got no idea what to draw. When I'm in class, I have this tendency to draw anything in that class and transfer it in any notes that I have at that time. I guess Cheng Cheng was unlucky enough to be that 'thing'.

Who is Cheng Cheng? Cyber cafe? Cyber crime? Cyber Cop? Cuci Cuci the movie? If you idiots refer to my previous post on conteng-conteng, you idiots might have the idea of who is she (She didn't wear her glasses in the picture). Apart from that, if I'm not mistaken, I posted an entry about celebrating her birthday on 2009 at Proton City. Never mind, continue with a short briefing about this fella. She took Spanish language and she don't even know who is Fernando Torres. The slimmest nyonya around, she can hide behind Praveen without anyone noticing her. Imitating the way she speaks is my specialty. It's easy, I'll share it with you guys. Just close you nose using two fingers and start talking. Easy and fun, try lah. She wont get mad. She likes basketball just because Kaede Rukawa looks cool in Slam Dunk. Sorry nyonya, I think my Miyagi is better than your Rukawa. She taught Khursiah on how to swim when we went to Kalumpang last time but few minutes later, she gave up. I just dont know why.

Just now I called my mak to tell her that I'll be back tomorrow. Belum sempat gua beri salam mak gua dah sound;

"Oh dah lama tak call, baru ingat nak call?" in sarcastic tone.

"Relek la mak, angah call ni pon sebab duit tak ada. Keh keh keh" gua counter balik with another sarcastic reason.

"#$%@*& !!!" my mom replied just like I expected. I used to tease her whenever I call my mak. Like mak, like son :)

p/s: Last two days were heaven. I was absent on Thursday due to fever, cold and sore throat while classes on Friday were cancelled. Gila best. 

Conteng-Conteng Enam

A-ha! When was the last time I posted an entry regarding conteng-conteng? Sorry idiots, I was too busy with something unnecessary. In fact, I am still busy with those unnecessary thingy.

An idiot "Dude, what are those unnecessary things, mind sharing?"

KeCiK "Sorry mate, those things are something personal"

An idiot "Hek eleh, lu pehal? Since when you are being to secretive?"

KeCiK "Cilakak lu. Ok ok. Lemme share with you. Come here closely."

Closer and closer...

KeCiK "WTF ! That is too close lah woi ! Are you trying to molest me?"

An idiot "Molest your head lah! You don't have the sex appeal so why in the first place I want to molest you?"

KeCiK "#$%^%& !!!"

An idiot "&*%$#@+* !!!"

This stupid argument continues for almost an hour.

Pay no attention to that conversation. Like I told you in previous entries, I do have this tendency to talk to myself. It is one of the way to show you idiots how retarded I am. Now back to the topic, last time I posted an entry about my conteng-conteng world on a book. I barely read that book since it has too many words to be read, memorize and understand. You idiots can never imagine how lazy I am when it comes to academic things.

This time I am back with something o0o la la. I guess so. Haha. Enjoy this stupid work of art. I just cant stop conteng conteng. Pardon me for my stupid sense of behaviour. As always, there's a story in any of my conteng-conteng artwork.

The figure that I drew is my lecturer. His name is Mohammad Sidik Bin Ariffin. Mahatma Ghandi is known as an ideological leader in India during the Indian independence movement. Yusof Zaki Yaakob is known as a person who started conceptual Islamic literature roughly on 1965 in Malaysia. While Patrick Teoh is known as the 'Voice of Malaysia', bestowed by his fans and Malaysian mass media. Apart from that, he played the role as Polonius in Hamlet, another version of Hamlet which is translated into Bahasa Malaysia. But who is Mohammad Sidik?

He is one of the lecturer in UPSI's Faculty of Languages. His specialty is in English literature, post-colonial studies and comparative literature. He taught us Literary Criticism during my third semester. He showed us how hard it is to 'consume' a novel entitled Hard Times by Charles Dickens. He also introduced us to a short story entitled The Token Shop written by Ahmad Tohari. I found out that short story is very very very and another very 'interesting'. Har har har (controversial laugh).

Then, for the next semester he taught me on Selected Poems in English. I do remember one of his assignment was preparing a critical analysis on any poem from the anthology Characters Under Glass. Guess what poem did I pick for this task? The shortest poem in that book! Har har har (another controversial laugh). Characters Under Glass is written by Evanna Mohamad Ramly. At the time of publication, Evanna was in her final year as a TESL undergraduate in IPSAH and UPSI.

It doesn't stop there. Currently in my fifth semester, Mr Sidik is my lecturer for Malaysian Literature in English. We are given few task to be completed, one of them is discussing the concerns of the authors in either two short stories or a play used in this course. He introduces us with lots of short stories. Honestly I haven't read any of the short stories for the time being. Please don't get angry with me Sir, I can guarantee you that sooner or later I'll read one of those awesome stories. In this course we are going to use several short stories which is Malaysian literature in English. Apart from that, we also use a novel entitled In A Far Country written by well known K.S. Maniam and not ketinggalan, a play entitled We Could **** You, Mr Birch by Kee Thuan Chye. I can't believe I just spent my money on buying academic things. Unbelievable kan?

 Can you see how happy we are with Mr Sidik?

Ok then, I guess it is enough for now. More to come in conteng conteng. Now get lost. Scram before I smack your face into several pieces. I'm not in a good mood because I'm a bit demotivated. Why? Lots of assignments to be handed in. Dem.

p/s: How lazy I can be? I'm a bit lazier than a sloth. Fikir-fikirkan lah.

p/s last: Forgive me Sir for drawing your face on the note prepared by you. Pardon me for my academic sense of humor.

Conteng-Conteng Lima

Yeah, I am back-mengembek with another session on Conteng-Conteng. Last time I mentioned about Conteng-Conteng on apa ntah, gua lupa. Nevermind. Kali ni gua kembali dengan bahan bukti terbaru yang tangan gua memang gatal nak menconteng ke atas mana-mana kanvas yang gua rasa sesuai untuk channel skill-skill gua especially on 'menconteng'.

Gua tak rasa yang gua buat ni vandalism since this is my book. Bukan buku abah kau, juga bukan buku nenek kau. This is my book. I bought it CASH for RM20 if I'm not mistaken. Owh, lupa gua nak cakap, standard la student. Ambik buku dulu hujung semester baru bayar. Tak berkat pulak ilmu gua kalau gua rembat buku ni macam tu je.

 

Ok, don't ask me why I drew those figures. If you watch properly, the birth of date for these ntah-hapa-hapa figures were drew by me exactly on 3rd February 2010. Yeah, you guys are right. I drew these stuffs while lecturer was lecturing in front. Our lecturer for this subject is Madam Roslinda. Baik gila. But the worse part was she called us by names to make sure our attendance is right. Dah tak boleh guna skill "Woi, tandatangan attendance untuk gua? Next week gua tandatangan untuk lu pulak"

The subject is Pembelajaran dan Perkembangan Pelajar which I called it 3P or in English, it is called Learning and Student Development. Easier, tak tayah bagi lidah gua terbelit. Teringat pulak gua kat Tongue Twister.

"This course discusses the learning and developmental aspects of adolescents in the educational settings that consists of the students learning processes and students’ diversities. Apart from this, students will be exposed to varieties of learning experiences based on brain, cultures, languages, students’ capabilities, personalities, social, environment, emotional and physical aspects."

Pergh, boring kan intro gua? Gua hampir tertido tatkala menaip sinopsis untuk kursus nih. Ekcelly gua kopipes je dari rancangan instruksional gua. I took this course last semester and I got A- for it. Pandai kan gua walaupun gua selalu tak datang kelas? Keh keh keh.

With Madam Roslinda yang cool macam eskrem Paddle Pop perasa rainbow.

Till then, Adieu.

p/s: Gua expect ada dentam dentum malam ni. Rupanya gua silap.

Conteng-Conteng Empat

I am not sure the significant of this picture. I don't have any idea why I drew these figures. Ah, apa ada hal. Lantak gua lah apa gua nak conteng. These figures don't have any eyes but they are all well-equipped with other body parts, hand, leg, nose etc. Dalam banyak-banyak hasil contengan gua, this is one of my favourite.

"Apahal takde mata dude?"

"Apa guna mata jika tak dapat melihat"

"Lu cakap apa ni?"

"Entah. Gua pon tak tau"
"#$% !!!!"

Young. Old. Kid. Adult. Strong. Weak. Male. Female. Human. Animal. Ball. Skateboard. Racket. Tall. Short. Big. Small. Thin. Even rambut macam Dr.Rozmey pon gua includekan sekali. Berkasut. Berselipar. Botak. Berjambang. All in one.

p/s: We are all equal in the eye of Allah. So why gaduh-gaduh? why dengki-dengki? why? timkai?

Conteng-Conteng Tiga

Last time on conteng-conteng I mentioned about daydreaming in class. Yes, I avoided daydreaming in few classes for now. Thanks to my useless skill on conteng-conteng.

This time the victim for my conteng-conteng is similar to previous post about it. I used the same note to channel my thought into a piece of paper. Page 8 on notes of ********.

I am left-handed. The figure you see on this cheap piece of drawing is my own right hand. I cant draw a figure of my left hand since I use it to draw. Got me?

Why a figure of a hand? Recently I have the tendency to stimulate my ability with the original part on a note. The original part for this time is the page number, number 8. I got an idea on how it should be based on the situation.

The class should finish exactly at 7.00PM. I looked at my watch and my watch said "Dey, dah pukul 6.30PM lah! Sikit lagi nak habis, hold on master!" Well said wahai sahabat. Few minutes later exactly at 6.38PM I came out with this work of art. My own right hand showing the exact time at the moment.

Off topic.

"Why digital watch dude? Tak matured lah. Childish sungguh"

"Psychologically I think the time gets faster and faster. Jam jarum macam lambat sangat."

p/s: Congratulations to Malaysian squad on making it to semi final. See you there at Bukit Jalil, insyaAllah.

Conteng-Conteng Dua

I love daydreaming during lecture. Last time I slept in class I was instructed to stand for few minutes.

"How dare you sleep in my class !? Stand there until I ask you to sit !"

"Yes master" reply gua dalam hati.

So, what did I do to prevent myself from sleeping in class? This is it. So many things pop-up in my so-called-language-acquisition-device (known as LAD, the brain itself; according to my SLA lecturer, Mr Azman). I need to free up some space in my brain, that is why I need to 'transfer' all the 'things' into a physical form. Therefore I avoided myself from sleeping in class by drawing at least a small figure on a piece of paper. As for this time, a lovely note became the victim for my drawing-canvas.

More conteng-conteng to come yo!

p/s: Respect your lecturer, do not sleep in class unless you are an idiot like me.

Conteng-Conteng Satu

Ada orang suka makan anggur. Ada orang suka tidur tengah hari. Ada orang suka main congkak. Ada orang suka kumpul setem. Ada orang suka filem melayu. Macam-macam orang suka. Gua suka macam-macam. One of it is CONTENG. Yup, when it comes to conteng, I am hardcore. Give me a pen or a pencil, a canvas or anything; I shall draw at least something smaller than your bulu arm-pit.

I started to conteng when I was a kid. It's normal for a kid to have the tendency to conteng on most of the thing. Dinding, meja, kertas mahupun mangkuk toilet. If you go to school, you can see good-looking-menenangkan-memberangsangkan-menyemarakkan-graphics on the wall where most of the students walk in front of it. You can also see nicely-written 'kata-kata semangat' like 'JAGALAH KEBERSIHAN' and 'KANTIN BERSIH, MAKANAN BERKHASIAT, MURID SIHAT', you can see 'MALAYSIAKU GEMILANG' at the office, you can see 'KAMI DATANG DENGAN HARAPAN, PULANG DENGAN KEJAYAAN' in front of the school or maybe 'BUKU ITU SAHABATKU' at the library.

It's normal to have these wonderful words at school. It's good for the kids to be 'brainwashed' by these words for the good of their attitude. I have to say I am one of the kids to be 'brainwashed' by these words. I still remember when I was a kid, my favourite quotation is 'KERETA INI BOLEH MEMBUNUH'. You now kids like to play around inside and outside the school. So when I wanted to cross a road definitely I'll be thinking of that words. It's kinda convincing when you cross a road after several times observing any cars from left to right, right to left and left to right, again.

Enough with this stupid introduction, back to my main intention. I love to draw. To be able to conteng at any places is something pleasurable for me. Masa kecik-kecik gua dah start conteng kat atas meja, kat dinding dan ofkos, dalam toilet. Like I mention earlier, you can see encouraging quotations around the school but when you are in the toilet, it's totally different. Swear words in any languages, funny-looking caricature and dot dot dot.

When I was a kid, I read more comic books than any text books. I prefer to read Mutiara Naga instead of Buku Teks Sains Tahun 3. Spending more times reading comic books than watching television just made me thinking of one impossible ambition. That impossible ambition is to have my own comic book. It may sound 'boleh blah la KeCiK', 'Jangan harap' or maybe 'In your dream' but I made my dream come true. By using a ruler, pen and pencil and an exercise book, I manage to publish my own comic book.

The wrong usage of an exercise book. I turned my Kajian Tempatan exercise book into a-cheap-comic-book. I was at 6 Bestari at that time. Even I spell the name of my class wrongly; BISTARI instead of BESTARI. What an idiot I was. Pathetic.

I dot it just because I like it. I am never too old to do goofy things.

p/s: InsyaAllah, I shall prevail more of my stupidity on conteng-conteng.