Malas betul

Gua bukan apa.


Gua memang nak tulis.


Rant here, rant there.




Bullshit sana, bullshit sini.


Despite abundance of idea on ranting and bullshitting...


Frankly speaking...


Gua memang malas nak tekan itu, tekan ini.


Serius malas.


Malas nak mampus.


Naik semester gua cuba hapdate belog bodoh ni.


Kbai.

Lǎnduò

Lǎnduò

p/s: Lǎnduò

Flash Mob - Spot the difference

A flash mob is a group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and sometimes seemingly pointless act for a brief time, then disperse, often for the purposes of entertainment and/or satire.

"What telah happen man, why suddenly you seem to be interested in this thing?"

Last week on Saturday, 16th April, exactly at 5PM I went to Masjid Jamek just to see a protest against the media organized by Platform.AM. Technically I involved in this so-called-protest but I wasn't part of the major protesters. I sat just near the main road in front of LRT station, grab my newspaper and read it upside down. There were few people doing the same thing in the middle of the main road and the other side of the road. Then, few Malaysians approached me;

"Bang, abang baca paper terbalik ni..."

I smile at them.

"Oh, ni yang sama macam kat seberang jalan tu ke..."

I kept smiling. Probably my smile wasn't the cutest smile, they walk away from me. I continue on my 'thorough' reading for another few minutes. Beng Beng was there also doing the same thing, thanks yaw! Nanti gua payung eskepal kat New Village okey.

We stop reading and went to Masjid India since gua belum Asar lagi. Then gua balik. Bajet dah contribute le tu? Keh keh keh.

Few days later a video was uploaded by TVSelangor regarding the protest. Nice. Platform.AM also uploaded few pictures about it. I didn't know that they were doing it at KLCC too. I thought they were doing it near Masjid Jamek only. Kool mang!

Initially this entry isn't all about the protest, I just want to highlight something regarding some Malaysians who have negative perspective and perception on this matter. This is the video about the protest and have a look at those comments.

Budak-budak ni tak sekolah ke?

Ini tanah kita...tapi kita rela berkongsi...jgn sampai hak kita tergadai...xmalu kew ngn ank cucu nti ko wt perangai bodoh...lebih baik KAU yg bodoh baca tebalik ngn tukang spray tu fikir balik..apa yang dh buat tu berbaloi kew??

Mcm org gila pun ada...meroyan kot...

Berapa la upah kat budak-budak tu....aku pun nk jgk...

Melayu bodoh untung tak seberapa sanggup jadi alat Ultra Kiasu.

Nie jenis budak tak lepas tadika ...baca terbalik.

I am fine with these comments because I believe everyone has their own perspective, idea, and perception but this entry doesn't stop here. Now please have a look at this video on Justin Bieber Flash Mob Malaysia performing at Pavilion, Kuala Lumpur. Mind if you read the comments too?



This is awesome!!!!!!

AMAZING!

Awsome

Wow..this is so cool!!

Thats fuckin awesome :)
 
This is so cool.. how do people organize these things?!

They're so excited! haha soo cute!

Let's do it!

OH MY I LOVE THIS... can you please upload the whole song here on youtube pwease... im begging on my knees.

NOW, CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE?

Bak kata Nabil, lu pikir la sendiri. Assalamualikum.

p/s: Pagi pagi dah rage sebab tadi masa belajar parking kereta, semua tiang gua langgar. Cis.

Wish I have RM5000

Seriously I don't have enough strength to move my fingers, start typing and write a new entry. I am too lazy to crack my head and come up with something stupid like I usually did.

"I got an idea!"

"Idea apa dude?"

"We thrashed Menyoo at Anfield few weeks ago! You should write an entry about it!"

"That is so lame. Dah lama. BTW, nice game yo. Kita titik Fergie's babes kaw kaw right?"

"Damn right!"

"We also thrashed another Manchester team, 3-0 right?"

"Damn right!"

"Carroll scored his first two goal at Anfield right? Sending the crowd into RAWR!"

"Damn right!"

"Carroll 2 Torres 0 right?"

"Damn right!"

"Bodoh apa ni asyik 'damn right' !!!"

Macam biasa, gua bermonolog dengan diri gua sendiri. Bodoh bukan? Yes, I am retarded and weirdo. Pure idiot inside and outside. Since I went to Frinjan19 last time, let me tell you idiots a little about it.

This time Frinjan was held at Laman Budaya Shah Alam, not at Dataran Shah Alam like they always did. Frinjan yang lepas lepas gua macam biasalah, jadi pengunjung biasa, lepak lepak, chill chill layan live performance, usha buku buku, cd-cd yang best memang gua rembat. But this time I was technically part of it. Gua diberi amanat untuk jaga ChowKit Kita booth on that day.

"ChowKit Kita, what the hell is that man?"

"Berbuih sial gua nak cerita kat lu, gi tengok sendirilah !!!" ---> CKK

The primary goal we open a booth is recruiting volunteers for the Pesta Chow Kit Kita on June 12. We've made a calendar with our workshop dates. If they're interested in helping in a particular workshop, they can immediately book a slot by putting their name in for that date. For those who sign up, we give them 1 Pesta CKK1 poster and 1 CKK1 brochure as a souvenir.

FYI, the theme for Phase 2 is FOOD IN CHOW KIT. There will be a t-shirt/tote bag printing station, performances, eating, photo studio, exhibition, info & registration BUT no street theater this time.

The event started at 5, macam biasa petang petang orang tak ramai sangat. Time tu baru gua imagine kalau gua ada PSP, boleh juga gua tekan-tekan apa yang patut. Gua dah jemu main snake kat henpon nokia gua. Bosan. Pukul 7 gua capai baju pagoda yang gua bawak, Maghrib. Takkan gua nak Maghrib pakai baju Pikachu yang gua pakai, nanti Tok Siak masjid tak bagi masuk.

 

Usually they will perform Maghrib prayer at the upper hall but this time, since they were having forum perdana, Maghrib prayer shall be done at the lower hall.

Gua segan tengok ramai jemaah lengkap dengan kopiah, serban dan berjubah walhal gua hanya berseluar jean hitam berbaju pagoda. Nasib baik gua ada jambang, nampak la sikit gaya pemuda Muslim yang cekal menunaikan ibadat tak kira di mana jua beliau berada. Keh keh keh.

Selesai Maghrib gua gerak balik ke Frinjan. A-ha, ramai pon orang. Baru gua semangat nak cari volunteer volunteer untuk fasa kedua Pesta CKK. To tell you the truth, I'm not good on convincing people to join certain occasion or event but lucky me, Iqa was there. She speaks pung pang dentam dentum and guess what, dah dapat 2-3 orang. Apa fungsi gua? I tried very hard to 'recruit' few volunteers but at some point, even I don't understand what in the hell I was doing. Gua sendiri pening. Nasib baik lu ada Iqa, kalau gua sorang sorang jaga booth, gua yakin amat booth tu tutup awal gara-gara cara gua menarik pengunjung. Tak sesia lu dapat action figure Star Wars tu kan? Cis. Unfair sungguh.

  

Check it out, Narsil, Excalibur, and Sting yo! The heaviest sword goes to Conan the Barbarian Atlantean Sword. Berat gila.

Gua bukan nak kecoh pasal benda tu semua. Gua cuma nak kecoh pasal benda nih. Besides us, they were many booths opened on that day like Bijou Bazaar, Morning Rockey, Distro Buku and Toy Rebels. Gua nak highlight satu booth ni je, Toy Rebels.

Toyrebels is an online retail store owned and operated by Jayline Marketing Sdn Bhd (916211-M), a registered private limited company located in Malaysia.

Their goal is to provide you top-notch customer service with fast shipping and reasonable prices. The bottom line is, they have a passion for what they do and hopefully the customers will enjoy every shopping experience they have with them.

Why I wish I have RM5000?

Gua memang jaki tengok mainan. Apatah lagi mainan yang real. Toy Rebels presented some of my favorite toys like the swords from Lord of The Ring (Gimli Battle Axe and Staff of Gandalf were there too!), Thundercats, Pirates of Caribbean, Conan the Barbarian and many more toys.

With RM5000 I will be able to sapu and rembat some of those toys. Dalam dompet gua ada 30 hengget je. Cis.

Takkan nak jual ex5 gua pulak, nanti gua nak balik naik apa? nak pergi kelas naik apa?

Dem, wish I have lima ribu ringgit. Lima ribu je untuk puaskan nafsu gila gua.

p/s: Next Frinjan will be held at Kompleks Belia & Kebudayaan Selangor on May 7th. The likes of Beeha, Wani Ardy, Komunis Puitis, Gloria, Sekumpulan Orang Gila, Round Robin, Catatan Ilustrasi and others will be there too. Apart from that, a friendly football match between Frinjan and Sokernet will be held too, InsyaAllah.

.

.

p/s: Malas

Conteng-Conteng Tujuh

It's already 6.00 PM and I guess I won't be playing football this evening due to some technical problem. Darn. Petang-petang yang nyaman macam ni gua rasa rugi gila kalau duduk rumah mengadap laptop Travelmate 2400 gua. I think it's going to rain tapi apa gua kesah? When I was a kid, padang dah macam sawah pon gua masih semangat nak main bola. As long as I have a ball and few buddies, gua akan teruskan niat gua untuk bermain bola.

Again, pay no attention to my introduction. I am a retarded weirdo who likes to bullshit 24/7. This entry has nothing to do about football. It's about my hobby regarding conteng-conteng again. This time I'm back with another work of art. As far as I remember, I drew this picture last year while I was having a lecture. Like I told you idiots before, I like to draw just to make sure I do not sleep in class. Still better than sleeping rite?

Who is this unlucky fella? She is my coursemate, her name is Tan Cheng Cheng. Why she was unlucky? She sat in front of me in that particular class. I decided to draw her figure since I got no idea what to draw. When I'm in class, I have this tendency to draw anything in that class and transfer it in any notes that I have at that time. I guess Cheng Cheng was unlucky enough to be that 'thing'.

Who is Cheng Cheng? Cyber cafe? Cyber crime? Cyber Cop? Cuci Cuci the movie? If you idiots refer to my previous post on conteng-conteng, you idiots might have the idea of who is she (She didn't wear her glasses in the picture). Apart from that, if I'm not mistaken, I posted an entry about celebrating her birthday on 2009 at Proton City. Never mind, continue with a short briefing about this fella. She took Spanish language and she don't even know who is Fernando Torres. The slimmest nyonya around, she can hide behind Praveen without anyone noticing her. Imitating the way she speaks is my specialty. It's easy, I'll share it with you guys. Just close you nose using two fingers and start talking. Easy and fun, try lah. She wont get mad. She likes basketball just because Kaede Rukawa looks cool in Slam Dunk. Sorry nyonya, I think my Miyagi is better than your Rukawa. She taught Khursiah on how to swim when we went to Kalumpang last time but few minutes later, she gave up. I just dont know why.

Just now I called my mak to tell her that I'll be back tomorrow. Belum sempat gua beri salam mak gua dah sound;

"Oh dah lama tak call, baru ingat nak call?" in sarcastic tone.

"Relek la mak, angah call ni pon sebab duit tak ada. Keh keh keh" gua counter balik with another sarcastic reason.

"#$%@*& !!!" my mom replied just like I expected. I used to tease her whenever I call my mak. Like mak, like son :)

p/s: Last two days were heaven. I was absent on Thursday due to fever, cold and sore throat while classes on Friday were cancelled. Gila best. 

Conteng-Conteng Enam

A-ha! When was the last time I posted an entry regarding conteng-conteng? Sorry idiots, I was too busy with something unnecessary. In fact, I am still busy with those unnecessary thingy.

An idiot "Dude, what are those unnecessary things, mind sharing?"

KeCiK "Sorry mate, those things are something personal"

An idiot "Hek eleh, lu pehal? Since when you are being to secretive?"

KeCiK "Cilakak lu. Ok ok. Lemme share with you. Come here closely."

Closer and closer...

KeCiK "WTF ! That is too close lah woi ! Are you trying to molest me?"

An idiot "Molest your head lah! You don't have the sex appeal so why in the first place I want to molest you?"

KeCiK "#$%^%& !!!"

An idiot "&*%$#@+* !!!"

This stupid argument continues for almost an hour.

Pay no attention to that conversation. Like I told you in previous entries, I do have this tendency to talk to myself. It is one of the way to show you idiots how retarded I am. Now back to the topic, last time I posted an entry about my conteng-conteng world on a book. I barely read that book since it has too many words to be read, memorize and understand. You idiots can never imagine how lazy I am when it comes to academic things.

This time I am back with something o0o la la. I guess so. Haha. Enjoy this stupid work of art. I just cant stop conteng conteng. Pardon me for my stupid sense of behaviour. As always, there's a story in any of my conteng-conteng artwork.

The figure that I drew is my lecturer. His name is Mohammad Sidik Bin Ariffin. Mahatma Ghandi is known as an ideological leader in India during the Indian independence movement. Yusof Zaki Yaakob is known as a person who started conceptual Islamic literature roughly on 1965 in Malaysia. While Patrick Teoh is known as the 'Voice of Malaysia', bestowed by his fans and Malaysian mass media. Apart from that, he played the role as Polonius in Hamlet, another version of Hamlet which is translated into Bahasa Malaysia. But who is Mohammad Sidik?

He is one of the lecturer in UPSI's Faculty of Languages. His specialty is in English literature, post-colonial studies and comparative literature. He taught us Literary Criticism during my third semester. He showed us how hard it is to 'consume' a novel entitled Hard Times by Charles Dickens. He also introduced us to a short story entitled The Token Shop written by Ahmad Tohari. I found out that short story is very very very and another very 'interesting'. Har har har (controversial laugh).

Then, for the next semester he taught me on Selected Poems in English. I do remember one of his assignment was preparing a critical analysis on any poem from the anthology Characters Under Glass. Guess what poem did I pick for this task? The shortest poem in that book! Har har har (another controversial laugh). Characters Under Glass is written by Evanna Mohamad Ramly. At the time of publication, Evanna was in her final year as a TESL undergraduate in IPSAH and UPSI.

It doesn't stop there. Currently in my fifth semester, Mr Sidik is my lecturer for Malaysian Literature in English. We are given few task to be completed, one of them is discussing the concerns of the authors in either two short stories or a play used in this course. He introduces us with lots of short stories. Honestly I haven't read any of the short stories for the time being. Please don't get angry with me Sir, I can guarantee you that sooner or later I'll read one of those awesome stories. In this course we are going to use several short stories which is Malaysian literature in English. Apart from that, we also use a novel entitled In A Far Country written by well known K.S. Maniam and not ketinggalan, a play entitled We Could **** You, Mr Birch by Kee Thuan Chye. I can't believe I just spent my money on buying academic things. Unbelievable kan?

 Can you see how happy we are with Mr Sidik?

Ok then, I guess it is enough for now. More to come in conteng conteng. Now get lost. Scram before I smack your face into several pieces. I'm not in a good mood because I'm a bit demotivated. Why? Lots of assignments to be handed in. Dem.

p/s: How lazy I can be? I'm a bit lazier than a sloth. Fikir-fikirkan lah.

p/s last: Forgive me Sir for drawing your face on the note prepared by you. Pardon me for my academic sense of humor.

What were you doing when your teacher was not in class?

Assalamualaikum. Salam seluruh Malaysia, Salam 1Malaysia, Salam seluruh kaum, Salam sejahtera and Salam SeratusPenulis, to all editors and readers of this belog.

Ok, enough with politicians-style mukadimah. Lets get straight to the point. Gua yakin semua orang pernah mengalami situasi dimana chegu yang patut masuk mengajar tak masuk kelas mungkin atas beberapa sebab;

-Chegu cuti bersalin.
-Chegu lambat masuk.
-Chegu sesat.
-Chegu lupa timetable.
-Chegu memang malas nak masuk kelas.

So apa korang buat bila chegu tak ada dalam kelas?

Biasa bila chegu tak masuk kelas mesti ada chegu ganti. Tapi ada beberapa kes dimana chegu tak masuk kelas. Bagi gua, itu lah masa gua penumbuk ke udara sambil berkata YES dalam hati.

Dalam situasi ini Ketua Darjah yang main peranan. Jika Ketua Darjah itu berkaliber, pasti beliau akan segera bergegas ke office untuk cari guru ganti. Tapi kalau Ketua Darjah tersebut mempunyai mentaliti macam gua...lu olls paham-paham lah. Jika tak ada langsung chegu ganti maka Ketua Darjah akan mengambil inisiatif sendiri seperti mengawal kelas tersebut bersama Penolongnya. Macam biasa Ketua Pelajar dalam kelas akan berdiri di depan, mencari beberapa kesalahan dan menulis nama murid-murid tersebut bersama kesalahannya di papan hitam agar chegu yang masuk selepas itu akan memujinya sendiri kerana mengawal kelas dengan penuh kejujuran. Chegu tersebut mungkin menepuk-nepuk bahu Ketua Darjah tersebut sambil berkata "Well done sonny"

Kesalahan; Bergendang & Menyanyi. LOL. Ketua Darjah yang berkepimpinan autokratik.

Sesetengah murid mungkin membuka buku dan mengulangkaji pelajaran. Sesetengah pelajar mungkin berlakon meletakkan buku di atas meja dan berborak sakan. Sesetengah lagi mungkin tidur sahaja dalam kelas. Gua? Apa gua buat? The answer is bloody-simple. M.A.I.N.

So, dalam kelas yang sempit, penuh dengan kerusi dan meja dan ditutup oleh empat dinding konkrit; apa yang gua boleh main?

Lawan Pemadam

This is my favourite. The rule is bladi-simple, winner takes all. Si-pemenang dapat mengambil pemadam si-kalah. Masa gua sekolah rendah dulu gua ada gadis, nama dia ****. Muka dia memang macam orang German, rambut pendek berwarna perang dan bermata biru. Sampai sekarang gua ingat lagi muka dia. Gua memang rapat dengan dia sebab dia tag team gua dalam game lawan pemadam. Pantang ada masa terluang, gua berlatih lawan pemadam dengan dia sampai ada masa kami berlatih sehingga mencapai mata 200 untuk game point. Tiap kali ada unofficial tournament untuk lawan pemadam mesti kami masuk. Macam biasa, siapa menang dapat ambil pemadam yang kalah. Faveret gua pemadam yang ada gambar bendera dan faveret dia yang ada gambar huruf. Kami siap ada kotak pensel khas hasil kemenangan bersama.

Lawan Kad

Old Maid, Happy Family dan Donkey. Tapi dalam banyak-banyak card gua paling suka main Snap!. Sebab apa? Nak main Snap! kena ada ramai player. Lagi ramai lagi meriah. Bila ramai maka ada lelaki, ada perempuan. Part ni paling gua suka. Tiap kali nak Snap! bila ada card sama mesti tangan gua pergi dulu. So player-player lain yang lambat nak Snap! mesti tangan-tangan mereka atas gua. Secara tak langsung possibility untuk player-player perempuan untuk pegang tangan gua juga tinggi. Dan bila ia berlaku, gua naturally akan buat muka horny sikit. Kui kui kui...Astaghfirullah Al Azim.

Ceper

Gua rasa game ni legend. Mak gua kata main ceper ni dah wujud sejak zaman mak gua di bangku persekolahan. Batu Seremban, Selambut atau Serembat mungkin game untuk golongan hawa so gua rasa ceper is specially designed for boys. Gua masih lagi di ambang misteri bagaimana tradisi bermain ceper dapat diturunkan secara turun temurun dengan jayanya. Pinpoint accuracy. Careful. Ultraprecise. Siapa ada skill-skill ni boleh jadi serious contender untuk main ceper. Player sejati tiap kali ada tournament mesti ada set ceper dia sendiri, custom made lagi tu. Cat sendiri pakai kaler water jenama yang ada gambar panda tu. Satu yang gua suka main game ceper dia still ada lagi bau kokakola. Pergh.

Lawan Titik Titik

Gua tak suggest game ni kat budak-budak sebab game ni menyalahgunakan buku latihan matematik. Tapi gua tak nafikan tahap keseronokan lawan titik umpama kanak-kanak 10 tahun yang asyik bermain PSP. Dulu gua ada dua buku khas selain untuk academic purpose. Satu buku untuk gua conteng-conteng dan satu lagi buku untuk main menatang ni lah. Player hanya dua orang sahaja. Menang kalah tak dapat apa-apa cuma maruah sebagai player agung titik titik saja dipertaruhkan. Gua rasa main chess pon tak susah macam ni. Selagi ada ruang untuk letak titik, selagi tu lah gua takkan mengalah. Kadang-kadang gua terpaksa main cheat. Bak kata peng-gusti terkenal, Eddie Guerrero; "Win To Cheat". Kalau pihak lawan leka atau terpandang tempat lain, gua dengan laju akan letak extra titik sebagai langkah untuk menang.

Banyak lagi game gua nak kongsi dengan lu olls. Gua belum lagi open game Bola Tekan, Mini-Ragbi, Empayar, Pepsi Cola, Main Nombor, Gunting-Batu-Kain (yang pakai dua belah tangan) dan macam-macam lagi. Ada masa gua akan kongsi dengan lu olls dengan lebih mendalam dan terperinci mengenai game-game nih. Till then. Adieu. Assalamualaikum.

Maaf sekiranya entri ini bukan entri ilmiah. Secara ilmiahnya gua lemah dan disadvantage.

p/s: Fuken hell, friendly pon tiket sampai rm20 ?

Hiatus hiatus hiatus!

Last entry I posted was few weeks ago and since then I haven't posted any entry after that due to my laziness. Technically I'm enjoying my hiatus. Yeah, gua memang lousy. Gua malas. Gua idea-less but rest assure you idiots, I'll come out with something more idiotic than you could ever imagine. Cheers. Now let me sleep. A week of holiday yo!

p/s: Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired - Jules Renard

The Awesomeness of Jumaatday

الجمعة --- Friday --- Jumaat.

Why Jumaatday is so fuken awesome?

When I was a school kid, I just love Jumaatday. Kalau sekolah pagi, boleh balik awal, as early as 12.00PM. Kalau petang boleh masuk lambat, as late as 2.00PM. Hari biasa gua balik naik bas awam, sekali naik 50sen. Ada rezeki dapat tempat duduk sebelah awek. Takde rezeki kadang-kadang berdiri kat tangga bas sambil kepala terjulur keluar juga gua relakan. Dah macam konduktor bas pon ada gua rasa. Tapi Jumaatday memang wicked. Abah gua tak larat dengar alasan gua penat berdiri dalam bas semata-mata untuk ponteng solat Jumaat. So abah ambik inisiatif ambik gua selepas sekolah setiap Jumaatday. Osem.

Jumaatday waktu persekolahannya singkat dan pendek. Bila waktu persekolahan pendek, secara matematiknya waktu belajar kurang. Bila waktu belajar kurang, mata pelajaran untuk hari tu juga kurang. Bila mata pelajaran kurang, buku yang perlu di bawa juga kurang. Bila buku kurang maka ringan lah beg gua pada hari tu. Yeah, I am a genius.

Bila Jumaatday menjelma, menu kantin sekolah tak macam biasa. Nasi ayam FTW. Masa sekolah rendah gua dapat RMT, so setiap Jumaatday mesti dapat air susu kotak perasa cekelat. Berbeza sekali dengan menu tipikal nasi lemak, nasi goreng dan air sirap.

Jumaatday kena pakai baju melayu. Indirectly, all students must wear uniform yang sama termasuk pengawas. Apa yang lain? Kasut hitam. Gua dulu pustakawan. Uniform pustakawan gua kaler hijau macam Green Hornet dan berkasut hitam. So uniform gua macam pengawas. Setiap Jumaatday, gua dapat masuk kelas lambat lepas rehat. Boleh relek-relek, tenang-tenang walaupun loceng tamat rehat telah berkumandang.

Jumaatday adalah hari spesel. Penghulu segala hari dalam Islam. Sebagai lelaki muslim, ianya wajib ditunaikan secara berjemaah. Masa sekolah rendah inilah moment yang paling gua tunggu. Imam berkhutbah di depan, gua dan rakan-rakan seperjuangan bersilat di belakang. Penat bersilat digantikan pula dengan sesi pepsi cola.
Gua mula serius solat Jumaat bila sekolah menengah. By then, gua dah agak serius dalam bab-bab ni sebab dah baligh. Tapi nama pon remaja, sifat mesti-mahu-main masih ada walaupun sedikit. Gua suka cari port yang boleh sandar, kat tembok mahupun tiang masjid. Itu masa gua muda remaja, sekarang gua dah insaf.

Perhimpunan pada Jumaatday lagi awesome dibandingkan dengan perhimpunan hari Isnin ataupun Rabu. Isnin paling tak best sebab itu hari rasmi. Official day. Semua kena pakai kemas. Tanda nama, tali lahir, lencana bagai kena ada. Kalau tak ada lu mesti kena tahan masa spot check. Kena nyanyi lagu sekolah. Kena nyanyi lagu negeri. Kena nyanyi lagu Negaraku. Kena baca ikrar. Semua kena buat dengan BERDIRI. Hari Rabu not bad sebab hari tu kira English Day. Time ni gua blur sebab sepatah haram gua tak faham. Perhimpunan Jumaatday adalah faveret gua. No nonsense. Bla bla bla and another bla terus setel. Masuk kelas. Heaven.

Masa gua jadi muallim dulu gua juga suka Jumaatday. Seawal jam 7-9 pagi muallim-muallim yang otai akan lead untuk bacaan Al-Mathurat. Then bila habis, muallim dan muallimah akan ada group pelajar dia sendiri untuk sesi usrah. Gua juga ada group sendiri. Beberapa minit pertama memang gua cuba bagi usrah yang terbaik, ikut syllabus. Biasa bab-bab fekah, sirah atau akhlak akan jadi topik utama usrah. Untuk seawal 10 minit memang masih lagi dalam topik, tapi gua secara tak sengaja akan ter-bincang topik lain. Gua suka tanya budak soalan bukan-bukan.

 

"Pagi tadi sapa tak semayang subuh!?"
"Sapa sini tak mandi pagi?"
"Dalam banyak-banyak team EPL, team mana paling terer?"
"Siapa tengok cerita ***** malam tadi?"
"Agak-agak Naruto dengan Ben10 sapa lagi kuat?"

Dan kami terus bersembang sehingga mudir bagi hand-signal kat muallim dan muallimah untuk stop dan masuk kelas. Sedar-sedar dah nak waktu rehat. Heaven gua rasa, tak payah susah-susah buat lesson plan. Gua kadang-kadang rasa bersalah tapi at least sesi usrah gua mengeratkan hubungan silaturahim. Bila lagi nak sembang dengan anak-anak kecil secara santai dan non-konvensional. Gua memang rapat dengan budak-budak sebab gua juga seorang dewasa yang kebudak-budakan. Mana ada dewasa yang sanggup turun padang main bola dalam hujan dengan budak-budak seusia 9-10 tahun. Mana ada orang dewasa yang sanggup berkongsi cheat dengan budak-budak untuk game Warcraft. Mana ada dewasa yang ber-jam tangan jenama Casio bertali-kan gambar kartun Ben10.

Masih lagi dalam skop semayang Jumaat. Bila dah dewasa gua mula sedar ke arah yang lebih positip. Gua bukan lagi manusia pathetic yang suka datang lambat tatkala azan untuk solat Jumaat berkumandang. Ada rezeki gua dapat jumpa member-member lama yang se-per-sekolah-an. Ada yang dah kerja, dah kahwin, dah ke luar negara sambung belajar dan ada juga yang dah berubah. Dulu mat skinhead sekarang dah berserban. Seronok dan nikmat rasanya berjumpa, bersalaman dan bertepuk tampar dengan kenalan lama.

Last but not least, lepas solat Jumaat mesti ada pisang. Menu yang paling kool gila ialah dadih FREE. Gua segan nak belasah itu semua sebelum semayang so awal-awal gua dah kowtim dengan ex-student gua.

"Nanti yang ni simpankan muallim satu, perasa milo ye"
"Ok muallim, nanti petang main bola tau!"

Friday, I'm in love.

p/s: Hari ni hari Jumaat. Siang tadi lu olls dah potong kuku ke belum?

*Some of the dialogues are used to stimulate fun. Don't take it too serious. Chill.

:)

Wishlist 2011

A-hah, it's already 11th January. I think the date suits enough for me on exposing my wishlist for 2011. Gua rasa tarikh ni tak se-mistik nombornya, 11.1.11. Se-pengalaman hidup selama hampir 25 tahun gua tak pernah dapat nombor satu dalam apa jua bidang dari pelbagai aspek. Dari segi akademik, sukan mahupun pertandingan mewarna, gua tak pernah dapat nombor champion ni. Gua tak kisah sangat sebab gua bukan perfectionist. Sebab tu dalam pertandingan jogathon sekolah gua dapat nombor tiga gua tak kisah. Sebab tu gua dapat nombor dua puluh tujuh masa gua darjah enam gua tak kisah. Sebab tu team gua, Liverpool sekarang di tangga ke-12 dalam liga gua masih chill dan tenang. Kahkahkah.

Some of you idiots might be thinking of having Pamela Anderson as their kakak angkat
Some of you idiots might be thinking of having a bloody-cool girlpren or boypren.
Some of you idiots might be thinking of having a DSLR camera.
Some of you idiots might be wishing for getting fuken-rich or extremely wealthy.
Some of you idiots might be wishing for losing weight.
Some of you idiots might be wishing for a peaceful world.

Ok idiots, this is my wishlist for this year.

Pak Cik Roy has just been sacked and replaced by our ex-gaffer, Kenny Dalglish. As for this season, gua sedaya upaya memekakkan telinga dan menguatkan tahap ketabahan gua kerana team gua sekarang sudah menjadi bahan kutukan dan juga laughing stock. Gua masih lagi optimis yang Liverpool akan kembali mengganas just like those days. The reality is we are merely pickup three points at Anfield. Anfield is supposed to be a tough fortress.

Gua tak nak banyak songeh. Gua tak harap Messi mahupun Marco Van Basten join Liverpool. Gua tak harap sangat Liverpool gua menang semua trophy mahupun World Cup. Gua tak harap sangat Liverpool gua menang semua 38 matches. The only thing that I want is Liverpool in ITS LIVERPOOL's form. Playing with passion. Playing with spirit. Playing as Redsmen. YNWA.   

You idiots might find this is the weirdest wishlist by including a Clone Trooper helmet in my wishlist. Oh, I forgot to mention that this is my wishlist, not your father's wishlist.

Why Clone Trooper? Why not Ultraman?

I've been wandering all over places, the only 'cool' helmet for now that I found is Clone Trooper. Believe me, if I found an Ultraman's helmet for sure I'll bought it. Just name the price. Tapi agak-agak lah, if it's cost me nearly one million gua rasa lagi elok gua beli rumah ataupun hantar parent gua pergi menunaikan haji untuk beberapa kali. Gua nekad, masuk je duit scholarship SLTP gua akan rembat satu dan letak atas kabinet gua. Wakakaka! Ah, satu lagi, helmet Iron Man FTW!

WTF who is Furniture ? The first and only time I saw them performing LiVE was few years ago during Rock The World 5. Personally I think that edition is the best ever Rock The World I attended. Ok, back to the question, who is Furniture?

They are an independent rock band from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Being independent means they do not have a team of label people who write nice biographies for them.They've written and read enough band bios to realise there are way too many big adjectives and marketing bullshit that goes into writing a bio.

Let's try one without blowing their own metaphorical trumpet (real trumpets are fine).

Their sophomore album is They Made Me Out Of Dreams You've Forgotten. In it are songs written over a span of 5 years. Songs about hope, hopelessness, being stuck, coming unstuck, and the end of the world. Theyre surprised as anyone that it ever got finished, and they're glad it's finally here to share.

If you like their music, the best thing you could do for them, almost even better than giving them money, is to tell all your friends about them. Last album I bought is Great Battle by Seven Collar T-Shirt. Penat gua merayau satu Seremban, not even a single music shop sells this album. Gua teringat pesan buddy gua, "Woi, lu try usha 7E" and I managed to get it at that 24/7 shop. It is an awesome album. Gua rasa belum ada lagi local act yang buat English album as superb as them. Butterfingers is also one of them. Local act FTW yo!

These days I find it difficult to find a good movie just like old days. Gua macam biasa, kekal optimis sambil mengharap masih ada lagi movie yang mampu buat gua terkesima for couple of hours. In 2011, I do wish that these three movies could 'wake' me up from my sleep. Gua harap tak ada lagi movie-movie yang gua sangka super duper bertukar menjadi sampah seperti filem The Last Airbender dan Clash of Titans. Sumpah sampah dua cerita ni!

Gua harap these movies will not making me saying "Celaka punya movie! Bosan sial!"

The Hobbit, I am a huge fan of Tolkien's masterpiece. In fact, gua rasa LOTR is still the best movie ever. Next, The Avengers. The Avengers are a team of superheroes. Labeled "Earth's Mightiest Heroes", the Avengers originally consisted of Ant-Man, Wasp, Thor, Iron Man, and The Hulk. The original Captain America was discovered by the team, trapped in suspended animation, and joined the group when they revived him. The team is famous for its battle cry "Avengers Assemble!" The team has featured humans, mutants, robots, gods, aliens, supernatural beings, and even former villains. Last but not least, Battle of Los Angeles, also known as World Invasion: Battle LA outside the U.S. is an upcoming 2011 science fiction film directed by Jonathan Liebesman, and starring Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Pena, Ne-Yo, and Bridget Moynahan. The film premise is inspired by the 1942 Battle of Los Angeles incident (sometimes called the "Great Los Angeles Air Raid of 1942") in which a presumed enemy attack, later deemed a "false alarm," led to an hour-long anti-aircraft artillery bombardment over the city of Los Angeles. The film is set in modern day Los Angeles and follows a platoon of Marines and Airmen during a global alien invasion.

I already bought Slam Dunk Season I last year and I completely finish watching it for several times. Itu belum lagi gua mention pasal Manga dia. Beratus kali gua khatam manga Slam Dunk. So gua rasa dunia Slam Dunk gua akan complete bila gua dapat rembat DVD Slam Dunk Season II.
 

p/s: Wishlist atas ni hanya nafsu serakah gua. I just wish that I'll have a happy life.

Cuti Cuti - What have you done, KeCiK ?

Ah, January finally. As you all might know, the whole December was my semester break. After this, I'll start on my 5th semester on January. Gua akan kembali menjalani hidup gua yang penuh dengan protokol. Gua kembali berpakaian kemas. Bertali leher, berkasut, baju masuk dalam dan rambut tersisir rapi. Dem :(

"So cuti-cuti ni apa lu buat?"
"Banyak bai. Macam-macam gua buat"

Besides bangun-makan-tido, main futsal, cat rumah, ketuk tin, pergi surau and others daily routine, these are the things that I endured while having cuti-cuti in December;

I left them few years ago with some knowledge and here they are, standing proud and confident. Physically and mentally improved more than I could ever imagine. Yang comel dah jadi cun. Yang kememeh, mudah berlinangan air mata dan berhati kaca kini menjadi anak-anak yang kental, gengster dan gagah. Ada yang dah sama tinggi dengan gua juga ada. Setiap tahun bila ada cuti gua selalu lawat sekolah tempat gua pernah mengajar. The school taught me to be an 'educator', not just a mere teacher. Alhamdulillah, ramai yang cemerlang dari segi akademik. Sahsiahnya juga gua rasa ada improvement.

I am extremely happy to see you kids with the great results. Yang tak dapat result power macam diorang; chill and relek. You still got time. The journey is still far. Lu olls might not get good results in exam but never be a loser. Belajar jadi orang eventhough your academic is not as good as others. Gua dulu pon result takde sepower lu olls tapi sekarang macam ok je. Haha. Dah besar kang dah jadi doktor, peguam, menteri or whatever; jangan lupa kat Sir/Lao Shi/Mualim k! Ada rezeki kita bertepuk tampar lagi.I may not be there for you but I'm watching you. Pergh, dah macam lagu Silverchair pulak.

Honestly, I'm not a big fan of cars. You know why? I DON'T HAVE A CAR. The only CAR that I had was 10 years ago when I bought Cannonball. Since it was made from a brand TAMIYA, surely it is expensive. It cost me nearly RM30. 1/4 duit raya gua habis kat benda alah ni.

 

I'm not gonna bla bla bla about this motorshow since I don't have the right knowledge about car. I know nothing about cars. Antara benda-benda yang gua tahu pasal kereta hanyalah check angin tayar, air, minyak hitam, bukak hud depan dan bukak bonet belakang. That's all. Itu pon berkat pengalaman gua bekerja di stesen pam minyak jenama kerang selama beberapa bulan setelah tamat SPM. Orang lain habis SPM terus further study, gua? Yeah, I spent a whole year working before I continue my study. Sah-sah gua bangang masa sekolah dulu.

I just thought that this event was exploiting and manipulating the awesomeness of women appearance. Sexy looking, tight outfit and horny looking. What was that? Are they selling cars or selling women? Effective way of marketing. Ceh.

The event should be held at MK Club, Malacca but it was cancelled last minute due to technical problem. At first, gua agak frust sebab gua dah plan baek punya for the sake of attending this gig. Gua kembali ceria bila MySkaFest Community berjaya menukar venue tanpa mengubah tarikh gig. Gua makin excited bila venue yang dipilih adalah Tampin.

Berbekalkan motor legend gua, EX5 berwarna hitam, gua merempit bersama buddy gua, Mamat yang juga seorang gig-goer. Last time we went to KL Ska Fest together. Mathematically this gig is the last gig for this year. Lu olls jangan ingat Tampin tu dekat even dalam satu negeri. The journey from Senawang to Tampin took almost an hour. Alhamdulillah, we arrived there safely. Even though the gig was held in a studio, it was fun tho. Skankin' dalam oven. Panas tapi puas. Nanti gua hapdate secara detail regarding this gig.

On 11th December, I went to Malacca, attending a wedding ceremony. Sape kawen? Yeah, tak lain dan tak bukan, gua punya UPSI course-mate, Munie! She's younger than me but she married earlier than me. Cis.

"Woi, gi kenduri kawen pon nak kecoh ke?"
"Suka hati gua lah @#$% !!!"

It may sounds weird and funny tapi gua tak rasa funny pon. I arrived at Munie's house around 6.00 PM. Mengikut kata-kata mak gua, belum ada lagi keturunan mak yang datang kenduri kawen orang pukul enam petang. Gua nak story panjang pon tak guna tapi gua cuba ringkaskan. My roomate, Azhar is from Kulim. He picked my buddy, Ary at Bagan Serai. Then they fetched two nyonyas, Cheng Cheng and Wen Yi at Kampar. Finally they fetched me at Senawang. As a result, we ended up arrived bloody-late for this occasion. Gua dapat tahu buddy gua, Azhar sampai ke Kulim dengan selamat pada pukul 4 pagi.

Sorry Mun for being late on your wedding's day. Tak merasa gua nak tengok lu pakai baju korea. Haha. BTW, thanks for the meal. Lauk pengantin tu. Haha lagi.

Dah lama rasanya gua tak pergi stadium. The last time I watch LIVE football match was few months ago at Stadium Tunku Abdul Rahman. The match was between Negeri Sembilan and Johor FC on semi final first leg of Malaysian Cup. We lost that match 1-0 due to Sani's mistake. But we won the second leg at Johor so we went to final and lost to Kelantan. D'oh.

This time I went to Bukit Jalil for a bigger match. Sebagai rakyat Malaysia yang cintakan bolasepak tempatan, gua hadir bersama abang dan adik gua bersama fotographer kami, Apiz yang juga kawan sekolah gua. The game was between Malaysia and Vietnam, the semi final first leg of AFF Suzuki Cup. We won that game thanks to a brace from Safee Sali. 2-0 peeps. Bekalan selesa ke Vietnam. Apart from that, it was my first time watching football with a group of extreme supporters. They are Ultras Malaya. Bloody extreme, chanting and singing. Singing and chanting for almost 90 minutes. Gila. Respek gua dan secara separa sedar, gua tengok bola sambil berdiri. Gua begitu asyik melihat members of Ultras Malaya  sampai terlupa nak duduk. Gua dah rasa macam kat Argentina bila diorang start bakar flare. Peh.

26th December 2010 was a hectic day. Timkai? Let me sum it up, first leg of final AFF Suzuki Cup, the 10th Rock The World, Rantai Art Festival and another kenduri kahwin from my relative at Perak. So, where did I end up?

Rantai Art Festival

Timkai?

Kenapa lu tak tengok final first leg?
The match started exactly at 8.00 PM. So lepas Rantai Fest gua still boleh catch up tengok match tu.

Kenapa lu tak pergi Rock The World?
As you all might know, I attended four editions of RTW. The 5th, the 6th, the 7th and the 8th. All of them were held at Stadium Merdeka. Gua rasa RTW dah hilang vibe dia. So gua tak kisah sangat terlepas edisi kali ini. Satu je yang gua kisah, tak dapat tengok Seven Collar T-Shirt in LIVE !!!

Kenapa lu tak pergi kenduri kawen sedara lu?
Famili gua dah ada wakil. Abah, mak dan adik perempuan gua ada datang. Lagi pun gua dah dapat restu dari mak gua untuk pergi Rantai Fest.

Apart from jalan-jalan, I love watching television with my Mak. Sambil melipat kain di ruang tamu, Mak gua akan layan apa sahaja televisyen dapat sumbangkan. I do recall the time when I spent hours with my mak watching tennis matches, live football matches and few drama melayu. Last time we spent hours watching Sivaji The Bos. Haha.

Okeh, besides spending time watching television with my mak, gua juga ada masa dengan abah gua. Antara aktiviti yang kami buat adalah sesi pecah tanah kat belakang rumah. Gua yang masih muda, longlai kerana mengorek, mencangkul, menarik hatta apa jua sekalipun. Apart from that, I also assisted abah gua on wiring our own house. Gila babi susah. Kalau gua ambik course letrik gua ingat baru first year gua dah kena tendang. We ended up as late as 4.00 in the morning.

p/s: Gua rasa sem ni agak heaven bagi gua since I don't have any classes on Isninday! Yey!

Conteng-Conteng Lima

Yeah, I am back-mengembek with another session on Conteng-Conteng. Last time I mentioned about Conteng-Conteng on apa ntah, gua lupa. Nevermind. Kali ni gua kembali dengan bahan bukti terbaru yang tangan gua memang gatal nak menconteng ke atas mana-mana kanvas yang gua rasa sesuai untuk channel skill-skill gua especially on 'menconteng'.

Gua tak rasa yang gua buat ni vandalism since this is my book. Bukan buku abah kau, juga bukan buku nenek kau. This is my book. I bought it CASH for RM20 if I'm not mistaken. Owh, lupa gua nak cakap, standard la student. Ambik buku dulu hujung semester baru bayar. Tak berkat pulak ilmu gua kalau gua rembat buku ni macam tu je.

 

Ok, don't ask me why I drew those figures. If you watch properly, the birth of date for these ntah-hapa-hapa figures were drew by me exactly on 3rd February 2010. Yeah, you guys are right. I drew these stuffs while lecturer was lecturing in front. Our lecturer for this subject is Madam Roslinda. Baik gila. But the worse part was she called us by names to make sure our attendance is right. Dah tak boleh guna skill "Woi, tandatangan attendance untuk gua? Next week gua tandatangan untuk lu pulak"

The subject is Pembelajaran dan Perkembangan Pelajar which I called it 3P or in English, it is called Learning and Student Development. Easier, tak tayah bagi lidah gua terbelit. Teringat pulak gua kat Tongue Twister.

"This course discusses the learning and developmental aspects of adolescents in the educational settings that consists of the students learning processes and students’ diversities. Apart from this, students will be exposed to varieties of learning experiences based on brain, cultures, languages, students’ capabilities, personalities, social, environment, emotional and physical aspects."

Pergh, boring kan intro gua? Gua hampir tertido tatkala menaip sinopsis untuk kursus nih. Ekcelly gua kopipes je dari rancangan instruksional gua. I took this course last semester and I got A- for it. Pandai kan gua walaupun gua selalu tak datang kelas? Keh keh keh.

With Madam Roslinda yang cool macam eskrem Paddle Pop perasa rainbow.

Till then, Adieu.

p/s: Gua expect ada dentam dentum malam ni. Rupanya gua silap.

Conteng-Conteng Empat

I am not sure the significant of this picture. I don't have any idea why I drew these figures. Ah, apa ada hal. Lantak gua lah apa gua nak conteng. These figures don't have any eyes but they are all well-equipped with other body parts, hand, leg, nose etc. Dalam banyak-banyak hasil contengan gua, this is one of my favourite.

"Apahal takde mata dude?"

"Apa guna mata jika tak dapat melihat"

"Lu cakap apa ni?"

"Entah. Gua pon tak tau"
"#$% !!!!"

Young. Old. Kid. Adult. Strong. Weak. Male. Female. Human. Animal. Ball. Skateboard. Racket. Tall. Short. Big. Small. Thin. Even rambut macam Dr.Rozmey pon gua includekan sekali. Berkasut. Berselipar. Botak. Berjambang. All in one.

p/s: We are all equal in the eye of Allah. So why gaduh-gaduh? why dengki-dengki? why? timkai?

How to study for an important exam?

If you have a pair of good eyes you may see how 'hardworking' we are; preparing for an exam. This is my buddy, Praveen. He speaks very well in Tamil, and ofkos, English. His pointer is eleven times better than me. He is a busy man since he is the vice president of PKMI (dont ask me what is that) and a member of Jawatankuasa Mahasiswa Kolej for for Kolej Aminuddin Baki (I stayed there for a year and a half). I've been wondering for days and months; how on earth he managed to maintain his pointer-power-gila-nak-mampus even though he is busy with all that?
 

How many times a year does this word cross our minds and torture us? No matter how hard we want to try it, we cannot just ignore exams. No two people study the same way, and there is little doubt that what works for one person may not work for another. However, there are some general techniques that seem to produce good results. . In order to do well on exams, you also need to learn how to study. Unfortunately, universities don't necessarily prepare their students for this important skill. We have to always remember that learning how to study for an important exam takes practice. So I ask this macha which is a good friend of mine to share some tips on studying. 

"Yo macha, mind if you share with me your tips regarding studying for exams?"

"Oh well KeCiK, anything for you mate"

"wtf...gay?"

"Woi, I'm helping you man. I am damn straight"
 

Here are some tips on how to study successfully for an important exam;

Makan nasi biar kasi habis !!! »»»

Conteng-Conteng Tiga

Last time on conteng-conteng I mentioned about daydreaming in class. Yes, I avoided daydreaming in few classes for now. Thanks to my useless skill on conteng-conteng.

This time the victim for my conteng-conteng is similar to previous post about it. I used the same note to channel my thought into a piece of paper. Page 8 on notes of ********.

I am left-handed. The figure you see on this cheap piece of drawing is my own right hand. I cant draw a figure of my left hand since I use it to draw. Got me?

Why a figure of a hand? Recently I have the tendency to stimulate my ability with the original part on a note. The original part for this time is the page number, number 8. I got an idea on how it should be based on the situation.

The class should finish exactly at 7.00PM. I looked at my watch and my watch said "Dey, dah pukul 6.30PM lah! Sikit lagi nak habis, hold on master!" Well said wahai sahabat. Few minutes later exactly at 6.38PM I came out with this work of art. My own right hand showing the exact time at the moment.

Off topic.

"Why digital watch dude? Tak matured lah. Childish sungguh"

"Psychologically I think the time gets faster and faster. Jam jarum macam lambat sangat."

p/s: Congratulations to Malaysian squad on making it to semi final. See you there at Bukit Jalil, insyaAllah.

Conteng-Conteng Dua

I love daydreaming during lecture. Last time I slept in class I was instructed to stand for few minutes.

"How dare you sleep in my class !? Stand there until I ask you to sit !"

"Yes master" reply gua dalam hati.

So, what did I do to prevent myself from sleeping in class? This is it. So many things pop-up in my so-called-language-acquisition-device (known as LAD, the brain itself; according to my SLA lecturer, Mr Azman). I need to free up some space in my brain, that is why I need to 'transfer' all the 'things' into a physical form. Therefore I avoided myself from sleeping in class by drawing at least a small figure on a piece of paper. As for this time, a lovely note became the victim for my drawing-canvas.

More conteng-conteng to come yo!

p/s: Respect your lecturer, do not sleep in class unless you are an idiot like me.

Stop misSPELLing !!!

Makan nasi biar kasi habis !!! »»»

H.O.L.I.D.A.Y mode

The last paper was on 1st December and it was ok, I think. Within this December hopefully I won't see any thing related with my study. I'll avoid myself from things like pen, pencil, notes, matrix card etc. Have a cracking holiday peeps and InsyaAllah we shall meet next year for next semester. Let's ronggeng!

p/s: Adieu November. Holla December. Gig-goers, here I come!

Hamlet 0o0 Hamlet

As you all might know, my peeps and I are having grueling happy hours of studying a play from William Shakespeare. Words like joy, delight, ecstatic, in high spirits or on cloud nine are used to describe how pleasant we are while studying this work of art.

"Woi, I can smell the sense of sarcasm lah!"

"Oh, you got me. Spot on!"

Hell yes, technically I am lazier than any of you could ever imagine. If you are close enough to me you can see the letter L on my forehead. Since I am as lazy as Koala, the laziest animal on earth who sleeps up to 22 hours, I decided to watch the movie instead of reading the whole text regarding this play. Last time this so-called-short-cut-approach proved to be fruitful. I spend an hour watching a play entitle Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller at YouTube a day before the final paper and guess what? Flying colours bai!

So here I am spending my 'happy' time watching Hamlet directed by 'Hamlet' himself, Kenneth Branagh. This boring-gila awesome film was nominated for four Oscars. Honestly from me, as far as I remember, I unconsciously ter-sleep while watching this movie. I slept and woke up several times and 'eh..scene mana dah ni?'. It's normal for a sleepyhead like me. I started to imagine what if I watch this film on cinema with my _______ (fill in the blank with a suitable/logic/acceptable answer) .

-You need lots and lots of popcorn, bottles of water or few sacks of junkfood (kuaci, kerepek, kuih muih etc)

-Bring a pillow with you. Larger is better, depend on your body size. A blanket would be a perfect addition.

-Feel free to sleep, don't afraid to sleep or do not hold your eyelids if you feel sleepy. Why? Even if you fall asleep the movie is still playing.

-Do not turn off your handphone, you might feel isolated in the cinema. Make sure you have enough credit to call or text your friends if you feel bored. Nah, handphone is lame, bring a laptop then. Bring also your broadband so that you can online and update your status; "Demit, this movie is so fuken boring".

Why did I mentioned all these stupid things? Alhamdulillah and thank God, I live long enough to watch few awesome movies that humankind has ever produced. But this Hamlet The Movie (1996) is absurd. It took four fuken hours. Watching this movie is hour incrimnets, longer than my favourite LOTR. In fact, you can watch two live soccer games consecutively.

"If so, why in the hell did you watch this movie, KeCiK oi?"
 

Told ya before, I am as lazy as a Koala, the only differences between that fella and me are Koala can sleep more than 20 hours while I can sleep in two consecutive days. Apart from that, Koala is cuter than me and people always say that I am as fugly as Heath Ledger. I'm not a hardcore on reading thick books. I wear spectacle but it doesn't mean I am a book-worm-type. If you ask me to read hundreds of Doraemon, Shin Chan, Slam Dunk or Dr Slump, I am honoured to do it without any hesitancy.

If it wasn't Ophelia, dah lama gua tawakal untuk paper besok. Sad to see the only hottest figure in this movie went crazy because of her father was killed by Hamlet. Apart from that, I fuken love the diction, the way they utter the words that I don't even understand. I give up on finding the meaning because I don't understand 90% of all the dialogues. Lenguh bai asyik nak selak kamus.

By 12PM I need to release myself from this prison of madness. Liverpool will face Tottenham at White Hart Lane. Bale is on song and I hope Glen Johnson can deal with it. Hopefully PakCik Roy knows what to do. This match is so important; do or die, we need this important 3 points. I will get crazy like Ophelia if we lost this match.

The left one with a pink-ultrawoman-head is Kuya. Twice drowned at Lata Kinjang and Kalumpang then she realized that the port is shallow enough for a 8 year old kid. Tu la, lu ingat lu Michelle Yeoh ke. The only makcik in class who uses bicycle when she thinks she is late. She's the one who printed my copy of Hamlet. I can't believe I spent RM5 for this copy. The other ultrawomen are just her minions, waiting for her next orders and commands. Second from left is Atul, Arashi's hardcore and she used to do agagaga laugh. Next to her is Iera, ex-Zapin dancer who now focuses on modern music. She represented group B for Olahraga on 100m sprint race, to make it OMG, she ran without a pair of shoe. The last makcik on the right is Dy. A fine-looking makcik yang ada iras-iras Sandra Bullock jika mukanya kekal pimple-free. A legend says that her younger sister is gorgeous than her.
 
My faith on Kuya for getting me that sissy-looking-book jeopardized my status as a skinhead when I was 15. I repeat, I did not order a book with a pink-flowered-cover. Dem you Kuya, dem you. Morale of the story, never trust a woman if you want them to make a copy of a book. They might jeopardize your life, just look at me.

Thanks to Prof Lim, the nearest man on earth with William Shakespeare I ever met. He knows most of everything regarding William Shakespeare. He gets us to know closer about a man who wrote Hamlet. Get well soon Prof. Sorry for being such a dud, a culprit and always daydreaming in your class :) You just prove that William Shakespeare is the greatest among William Hung, William Chan and William Gallas.

I missed to watch Damo Suzuki at Annexe.
I missed to watch Flossy on Rockapedia at Annexe.
I missed to play rounders with my new mates at Dataran Merdeka.
I missed to watch Zombi at KLPAC
and I missed to join BBQ party for ChowKit Kita crew members.

Why? My uni thinks having a very late exam is cool compare to other universities.

Dem.

Till then, I still need to spend another two hours to finish on watching this movie. Please God give me strength to endure hours with Hamlet.

p/s: By 12 PM tomorrow I shall bid a good-bye to William Shakespeare. Adieu Hamlet, adieu.